Intimate Connection?

[pepper]

I am a 25 year old virgin. I have stayed a virgin because I have never been in love and I am a bit nervous about sex. Anyway, I decided to be more outgoing with the last guy I was interested in. We both weren't looking for a relationship at the time so we were just making out and whatnot. Months later I started to feel something for him. He told me he didn't feel the same way because we didn't have an "intimate connection.' This kind of upsets me because I am really inexperienced and I feel like he is critizing me in the bedroom. He was also with his last girlfriend on and off again for 8 yrs. Could it be possible that maybe because I am inexperienced he just doesn't think we have anything?

[Kaius]

What he said was nonsense. Absolute mind-game bull crap.
He wanted to make you feel bad for not putting out. Geez...
When you feel good and ready, and with the right person, then the connection will be clear.
Stay away from this fool.

[pepper]

What he said was nonsense. Absolute mind-game bull crap.
He wanted to make you feel bad for not putting out. Geez...
When you feel good and ready, and with the right person, then the connection will be clear.
Stay away from this fool.

Haha yeah I get what you mean. He told me I made him horny when we made out and he says he likes talking to me and thinks I am a really nice person. Yet then he tells me we have no connection... it just bothers me because he told me I didn't know him well enough to like him but he apparently knows me well enough to know he could never like me because we don't have an intimate connection.

[bulrush]

This kind of upsets me because I am really inexperienced and I feel like he is critizing me in the bedroom.

Could be that you didn't have sex with him, so he's leaving. Men need sex, for physical reasons, and to make that emotional intimate connection. Yes, some are players, so watch out for those. I'm a guy. Sex is very emotional for me. It's a bonding experience. If the girl doesn't want to bond, I find one who does. It's that simple. I can't change her, and she doesn't want to change, so I'm gone.

I need to bond with my partner. Sex is REALLY important to men. No sex=no relationship. Remember that.

[pepper]

Could be that you didn't have sex with him, so he's leaving. Men need sex, for physical reasons, and to make that emotional intimate connection. Yes, some are players, so watch out for those. I'm a guy. Sex is very emotional for me. It's a bonding experience. If the girl doesn't want to bond, I find one who does. It's that simple. I can't change her, and she doesn't want to change, so I'm gone.

I need to bond with my partner. Sex is REALLY important to men. No sex=no relationship. Remember that.

I get that men want sex... It is not that I don't want to have sex it is just I don't want to have sex with anybody. He told me he liked the fact that I was a virgin. I am not waiting until marriage I just want to be treated respectfully by a guy before having sex with him. I want someone who respects me as a person.

[oldskool83]

on and off again for 8 years is a big red flag...either be one or be over....we all know on and off means hey imma go hump sum1 else then get back with you later.

find sum1 else who want cares nuff not to care about your sexual deal.

[devonbrown]

My take is that while the no sex thing might have been a factor in not wanting to continue a relationship, I don't think that is what he meant by not having an "intimate connection." I think he meant that you two just don't jive for him on an emotional level. He might like you enough as a person, but isn't feeling the necessary "spark" for a long-term relationship to develop. Knowing someone intimately is more than just getting into their pants. It is about knowing why a person is the way they are, the history behind what made them who they are, etc. He didn't feel that with you.

I would just move on and find someone new. And not let anything this guy said, or your reaction to it, stop you from moving forward in your life.

Good luck.

[pepper]

What is this spark guys keep talking about? This guy used to come into my place of work and strike up a convo with me and when we started hanging out he would tell me I was pretty and how much time he spent on my Facebook. Yet months later he said he could NEVER be interested in me. How am I supposed to know if a guy is feeling this "spark"?