And like clockwork, friend zone.

[FZsucks]

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I've been relegated to the friend zone. Again. I have another thread, which I can't link due to my post count, about this girl. For a quick recap:

We hit it off pretty well from some online friends, I went to visit her when I was in the area for a friends wedding. We continue to hit it off but both agree that a long distance relationship wouldn't work. Fast forward a bit and I have the ability to move back to the area soon. I wouldn't be moving for her, that's just stupid, but she would be a pretty decent extra reason to move back.

Well right, so things were looking to be on track for a relationship. Well, the other day she got invited out for drinks with an old friend of hers (they never dated). So, tonight, she was going to go back out with him but he seems to have bailed. I know this because, well, I was 'that person' she could go to to talk about this stuff. She was incredibly depressed about it, talking about 'the way he looked at me'. Right. I did tell her that I didn't like talking about guy stuff with her.

So, here I am landing right in the middle of the friend zone.

What I do know is I can't be just her friend. It's not going to work for me so this is a sort of an all in situation.

I also know that I'm not going to bail on her for this New Years thing. She took some seriously bad Christmas hours so she could spend New Years with me. That's just not the kind of guy I am.

I want to win her back, so to speak. I know she has, or had, feelings for me. So, right now I think the only thing for me to do is to wait and see how it works while I'm there. Here's my question:

I know I need some behavioral changes from now until then. I need to reverse roles, and I know it has to be a sort of slow, subtle thing. Would doing things like texting her less, or possibly not even at all for a period be the correct steps to take? Possibly going on a few dates with the locals here and telling her about it? Or, am I taking this the completely wrong way?

It sucks that I know that I can't just be her friend because she really means a lot to me. All I want her to be is happy but I also have to be happy too, and I can't do the friend thing. Just can't do it with her .

[smackie9]

Maybe you were too much of a wuss, and didn't make a confident move on her...like grabbing her and kissing her.....you know showing her you desired her. That probably would have made all the difference in the world.

[MaidenMinx]

She wants you to spend new years with her? Perfect opportunity to kiss her! Aren't most people after someone to kiss at midnight?

So I suggest you take that opportunity to kiss her then tell her just being her friend is not enough for you. That is what I suggest.

[FZsucks]

That's some pretty good advice. Thanks a bunch.

[Sara E. Parker]

Well, move on then.
Don't think too much about it because it will ruin your confidence.