was completely honest- now what?

[liberty99]

Desperately trying to save a male-female friendship here.
4 weeks ago went through a deep depression (now on zoloft).
The female friend wanted to know why I would not see her (after 6 weeks of not seeing her, but plenty of texts, emails).
I had to be honest and tell her that it was partly a result of infatuation and obsessive thinking about how to respond to her. (I believe this is a byproduct of my depression). She was not able to respond at the time I learned later - and in the process I sent 4-5 emails over a 3 day period explaining myself.

Then I had an anxiety attack and texted her, wanting her to reassure me that she would be there for me when better (she said she would). That night I sent another email- explaining that I needed to take a break from contacting her- that no one should get that anxious about unreturned emails and that it wasn't healthy for me to be obsessing about communicating with her. And told her I would contact her again when completely better (counting on an ssri med to help me out here).

That was the plan. Its been a week and I just heard that she is coming to my workplace. So I have the opportunity to talk to her in person. I don't know what to say or even if she would be willing to see me now. What should I do? say?

[wolfie91]

You might be safer to stay away. You explained yourself thoroughly in your messages, and if she feels emotionally capable/stable enough to continue your relationship she will seek you out.

[triplikeido]

face to face is wayyy better than letters. i mean letters are beautiful, but when your trying to deal with something this serious, you will be better understood if she can see you and literally see your feelings through what you are saying. It is also more respectable to talk to her in person to reiterate the things you wrote in your letters, and to show that they arent just words on paper. And honestly, she will probably be even more thrown off if she goes to your work, your there, and you ignore her or dont go out of your way to say hello. i know i would. you kinda need to balls up on this one. i know your struggling with depressive issues, and i totally get that. (I take zoloft and some other things). you just gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and talk to her man. After that, based on her response that youll be able to immediately detect how she feels about the situations.
There can be a lot of miscommunication and perceptions through letters, texts, and emails, so again i feel that the face to face contact is the best course of action here. either way, youll get an answer and will gain some certainty concerning how she feels. Im sure if yall are friends shell be understanding, but if she isnt and doesnt wanna see you anymore, then shes not a true friend and you neednt waste anymore time with her.

[triplikeido]

it also sounds that you are thinking way tooo much into the situation... as im reading your post again. relax!! take some deep breaths. i know waiting for a message, especially after you put yourself in a vulnerable position, can be really anxiety inducing. so i would stay away... not from her... but from using emails and texts as ways to express your feelings. You need that immediate confirmation that only a face to face can really provide. written media leaves too much detail to the imagination, and when your suffering from anxiety and depression, the imagination tends to downward spiral out of control. keep this from happening by refraining from sending heartfelt texts that will hurt you if they arent responded to right away. there are too many extranneous factors to worry about an unanswered text, such as losing phone, driving, not being in a place where cell use is appropriate, left on charger, havent checked email in 3 days had too much homework.... the list goes on and on. im not sayin letters arent ok unbder the proper circumstance... but you cant deal with a relationship problem, (friend or otherwise) solely by electronic communication. especially in your case, where you are more prone to experiencing anxiety in your current state. take care of yourself by not putting yourself in that position.