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Thread: should i tell him now or later?

  1. #1
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    should i tell him now or later?

    Guy I'm seeing just recently moved 4 hrs away and I have plans to go see him this weekend, well tomorrow. We also just recently started having sex, very good sex, so I know he's looking forward to this likely more than anything else, and so was I.

    However, right after we made the plans I started my period. But knowing it will be almost done with by the weekend, I didn't think much about it. But now, since we are new to this, I'm not sure if I should tell him before I make the drive all the way there. Idk if he's the kind of guy that would mind this or not. I don't, but I'm aware that some guys do. I would have to text him today while he's @ work and I'm not fond of the idea of sending him a text like that! But wondered if I should give him the option of me waiting until next weekend to go?

    I am also taking him some much needed things that he doesn't have there, so to me this is a silly reason to cancel. But, I'm worried he will be upset with me if I wait until I'm there to tell him. To me its not a big deal at all, but should I treat it like it is and tell him?

  2. #2
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    It depends. Is this relationship all about sex? Or is there something more? If there is something more, he would want to see you no matter what. And you can still give him oral or a tuggie. You can still share things that way, only "the store" is closed.

    If he were driving to you, you should certainly tell him this. Then he may want to wait. I supposed you could tell him, and if he says for you to wait, then you know it's all about sex. That's fine if you two are FWB, I just didn't want you to get hurt if you didn't know it was FWB.

    To be honest, not only do I love my gf, but I LIKE her. She is pleasant to be with, and I like hugging her, and just laying and watching a movie with her. So I would see her either way.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  3. #3
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    Right now I would say we are in the FWB category because we like eachother, and we are having sex, but we are not labeling our thing right now. I don't know if texting him this would be just TMI and unneccesary, or if it would me doing the respectful thing by giving him heads up. I don't want him to be upset with me if I let him find out the hard way (after driving that far) but there is a chance he won't care at all, I just don't know which one to go with here.

  4. #4
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    I don't think you should tell... there are other things you can do...

  5. #5
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    This is the 1st time since starting sex that I have been here, that's why idk how he feels about it. Of course we will spend time and have fun together as well, but I'm still worried about disappointing him. I am not against having sex this way, but if he is, I won't get my needs met either...

  6. #6
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    If he's a good guy, even if he thinks you two are FWB, he will still understand the situation. FWB means sex AND friendship. At least to me. And friends do things besides have sex, but sex is one of the more fun things.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  7. #7
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    I do believe he is a "good" guy so far, lol. But I worry a lot about letting other people down, I guess. So I guess I should assume he won't be too angry if I wait until I'm there before telling him...

  8. #8
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    If the sex is good, and this good sex is one of the reasons you are driving to see him - tell him. He will then have a chance to mentally prepare... haha ;-) He can then focus on the other things the two of you can do together.

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