I can feel my blood pressure rise everytime I see her =.=

[Mudkip914]

When I first entered college, I didn't intend to get a boyfriend; but he was so charming, so funny, and adventurous that I just couldn't resist. I was madly in love. At first glance, he wasn't hot at all. He looks like a really nerdy guy with really thick glasses and a catfish mustache. But in many ways, he was the hottest guy I have ever met. We met at our school's athletic club competing in a sport (let's just call it soccer, even though it's not) and he taught me a lot of interesting techniques. Within weeks, we started dating and it was pure bliss.

Then of course, another girl came along. This girl has known my boyfriend 2 yrs longer than I had, number 1 on the school team for our sport, smart, attractive, hard-working, funny, and overall extremely popular; all the guys wanted her....and soon i found out, my boyfriend did too. She had a boyfriend at the time, a really hot, smart, funny, boyfriend and they seemed so cute together and she continuously bragged about how amazing he was. I was envious of her attributes, but it was a respectful kind of envy. I wanted to be like her! One day, I caught her and my boyfriend flirting with each other: tickling, shoving, that kind of crap. She saw me walk through the door, but continued with her actions. I brushed it off as a "maybe she just thinks of him as a brother" type of thing. I was so wrong. One day I was sitting next to my boyfriend in the gym and we were flirting on our own, but she walks by and says "Ooo, nice shorts Alvin, makes me wanna smack ya real hard." .....I was like, Wtf...No one has EVER disrespected me like that before. I got up to say something, but my bf held me back. He said "Don't worry, that's just how she is." I replied, "Aren't YOU gonna say anything?!" And he said "No, calm down. It's nothing." I can't believe no one said anything, all our friends witnessed it and laughed it off. I'm sure if I said that to some non-single guy, I'd be stoned to death, ridden with gossip and bad reputation. But no, she got away with it. But that is not all. My boyfriend began to brag about her constantly. "You should be more like her," "If you need help with school, she can help you!" "Why don't you ask her for help?" "I'm gonna pinch her so hard on St. Patrick's day." Every day was like that and I had to brush it all off for our relationship's sake, but in the end it just kept building up to the point where I couldn't take it anymore! Eventually, I crumbled, and I told him exaclty how I felt. He told me there was nothing he felt for her but friendship, but then turned around and said "But if she was SINGLE, yea, she's the type I'd go for." I cried really hard that night, and he got mad. Fast forward 3 months, he never told me about her hanging out with him three times or MORE that I still don't know about! I found out through his Facebook wall where she wrote 'Ahh my love handles hurt! But thanks for buying me dinner! ^^" His reply was "Np. It was practice :)" I wanted to vomit.

This boy never realized how much pain I endured in this 2yr relationship. He is lucky that I am strong enough girl who was willing to put up with such carp. I was perfectly fine when entering college, but he dramatically DESTROYED my self-esteem. So bad that I once got tipsy on a beer b/c I was sooo depressed, and I asked 'Tell me... is she prettier than me?' and he said yes. I chucked my beer into the trash can and bid him goodnight! So a few days later, I called him and I had an inquisitive conversation where I tried to see if he'd fall for my trap. I said, "Do u like her?" "No, honey. Why do u keep saying that?" "Because I kinda think she's perfect for u." "Well, I think she's perfect for me too, but she ain't available." I immediately slammed the phone and started crying "He lied to me! He does like her! He thinks she's better than me!" An hour later I calmed down and called him back "Uh.lemme ask u ONE question..Do you think iii'm perfect for u?" He said, "honestly...no. No one is." I slammed the phone down and cried some more. WTF does that mean! He JUST admitted she's perfect for him and I'm not. How am I even supposed to feel right now? Fast forward 6 months, summer 2011, the girl breaks up with her boyfriend. She graduated college, has a job, and is back to flirting with my man. In fact, we all saw each other at a party and she would NOT leave him alone! "Alvin, can you help me find my UPS label? I think I lost it :(" ........i feel so bitter, sick and angry. I was never like this before I met him..In addition my bf refuses to tell me I am his one and only. He just says "i love u." ....."I love u, baby". UGH. PLEASE! SOMEONE TELL ME what to do! I feel miserable! I still love him soo much and I wish a million times more that our relationship can work by itself rather than having to confront her and be ridiculous. WTH is wrong with me! Give me wisdom!!!

[sadie_genie]

Darling! I feel the pain just reading through what you are writing! First of all, there is no doubt that he is being insensitive to your feelings. No loving boyfriend will actually tell his gf that another girl is perfect for him and that his actual girlfriend is not. Secondly, you should never stay in a relationship that is making you feel unhappy. That should be the first indicator to leave. You shouldn't confront the girl about this because you can't get anything but drama if you do. Just leave the guy and retain your self respect. Trust me, you will find someone who will treat you better.

Also, there is more to being a good partner then being pretty, smart, popular, etc. If people based their selection of partners purely on superficial qualities, then it isn't love, is it?

[Janetadeline]

I agree with sadie-genie. There is no reason you should treat yourself like this. Being together with him you lost your self-esteem and you realize you are not living in the way you want. I would say the same thing as sadie-genie, leave him and you will find your right man who really loves you and cares about you.