One night stand or something more? Help

[bambi]

Met a man a few weeks ago he's 15 yrs older than me.

He has come out of a relationship early this year and so have I.

We went for dinner and got on really well, slept together (there was all the issing cuddling stayd the night), then did not hear from him for a week and a half.

Got a message telling me that he was interested but could not give me what I wanted ? I thought I was clear - I wanted to sleep with him, no strings and that I do like him (sex is good).

We went out again last night and ended up in bed which was very good again, he is very attentive and loving when we are together and was taling about going away and staying over each others houses as well as personal things to do with him..

I asked him why the lack of contact and he said that he wants a natural progression, and does not want to force things, does anyone know what this means?

I said that I wanted to have sex with him to which he replied that maybe this is not what he wants????? does this mean he is interested in more?

He has been sending me sweet messages today making sure I got home ok and being generally flirty..

Does this man want more than a casual fling?

[Wakeup]

You treated this like you only wanted a casual fling. Is that what you wanted or do you even know what you want?

[bambi]

I like him and was wanting to have a regular casual fling.

But I would be more than happy to be in a relationship with this man, I am afraid of telling him this because of he came out of a relationship early on this year and don't want to scare him off ..

I want him in my life .

[Wakeup]

I like him and was wanting to have a regular casual fling.

But I would be more than happy to be in a relationship with this man, I am afraid of telling him this because of he came out of a relationship early on this year and don't want to scare him off ..

I want him in my life .

Then I suggest you steer your dates to things outside of your bedroom while you get to know each otherYou don't even know him past a good romp. How in gods name can you determine that you want him in your life? Really, how?

I asked him why the lack of contact and he said that he wants a natural progression, and does not want to force things, does anyone know what this means?

Sounds like a pretty good stall tactic to me.

Notice how he didn't really answer your question? How you didn't tell him that you'd like to get to know him better and never talking to him between dates (sex) is detrimental to that happening? Once again: Steer your dates to outside get togethers and see if he's willing to actually date you and not just schtuup with you. He can like you enough to keep you around for schutuuping but that doesn't necessarily mean that he wants a solid, committed thing with you. Capice?

If all you want is a steady sex partner then I'd say you're well on your way to being a regular booty call.

[IndiReloaded]

There are two kinds of lies: those you tell others, and those you tell yourself. He's been clear that he wants sex and not much else. He doesn't have a problem, you do.

Women have used sex in order to rope men into a relationship since the dawn of time. Men have taken advantage of women who are too stupid to know what they really want for just as long. Understand?

[bambi]

Than you for the reply, there is a bit more to it than this.

We work together and he lives a good couple of hrs away from me.

So we have not been arrangin times to meet up for a romp, it's just the only chance we get really, although he has asked if he can come visit me next week.

[Wakeup]

Than you for the reply, there is a bit more to it than this.

We work together and he lives a good couple of hrs away from me.

So we have not been arrangin times to meet up for a romp, it's just the only chance we get really, although he has asked if he can come visit me next week.

You are setting yourself up to be a booty call if you see him at your place and you just fk. If you want to see if he's interested in getting to know you for more than your vagina, I repeat: Steer your dates to activities OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM and see if he's interested in that. If he makes excuses to not meet you half way for dinner, say... well then he's setting you up for booty. If you want to be in his life for more than an orgasm, then you'll have more of a chance if he's willing to be with you for an actual date, in public while you chat about yourself and life in general.

You are the boss of you, don't short change yourself because you're lonely and/or horny. Unless of course you can keep your emotions out of it and just go with the flow then carry on and have fun but by the sounds of it you're incapable of keeping it strictly sex. You'll steal your own joy if you fall for him and he just likes you for the odd romp.

P.S. If you work together then there should be no reason on this earth that he can't suggest to you that you grab dinner/a show/a walk in the park after work and before he goes home. Him living 2 hours away is no excuse. He appears to only want booty or, he's playing by your lead of letting him only have booty.

[bambi]

Hi,

I kind of agree with what you are saying..

We do work together but in diferent departments so he is physically not in the same place as me, and he is also a manager so not sure if we are even aloud to have a relationship.

He did ask if he could come stay next wkend and he has also mentioned a club that he wants to take me to as he thinks I would like it,( this was sent to me today).

[Wakeup]

How about you ask him if you can come to his instead and see what he has to say about that. You are certain he's not married or anything like that, right?

Anyway, You're going to keep seeing him no matter what we say here so, he's at least voiced that he'd like to take you out, lets see if he actually does it. One day at a time and keep your emotions close to your chest until you're sure he is wanting something solid with you.

It's obvious he still wants to see you but, like I said that doesn't mean he wants something committed and solid.

[bambi]

You are making a lot of sense thank you because I really need it.

I will sugest his, it is closer to the club so makes good sense.

100% sure that he is single.