Do I like him??? Should we date? HELP! Confused!!

[hope555]

Hey everyone!

About 3 weeks ago, one of my friends, who I've known for about 2 years, but really got to know him this past summer, told me he feels strongly about me. I never thought of him as more than a friend, but I've been hanging out with him and trying to see where it goes.

Right now, I'm not sure if I like him, or if I just like the idea of a bf. After a big heartbreak and one year of being single, I love having someone to share my life with, cuddle and watch movies with, and sleep next to.

On paper, he's an amazing guy.I have a few issues though that are keeping me from completely dating him openly. He is about 3 years younger than me (i'm 26, he's turning 23 in a few days). Also, we are both grad students doing our phd...but he started his phd in our lab a lot later than me..in fact I was the one that hired him. So it feels wrong dating a junior that I hired..I could never tell anyone in our lab that we're dating, it seems very unprofessional and I feel like it makes me look desperate, dating someone younger, and more junior than me. Also, superficially speaking, he's very good looking, but I always pictured myself with a taller guy..and he's only 5'6" (I'm 5'3"). I think bigger than all of that, is I am not getting that "in-love" butterfly in the stomach feeling about him...which I think is the best part of a relationship. He's amazing in bed, but I don't even feel like tingles when I kiss him

I know he's a very caring, sweet, unselfish guy, and we get along great. Logically I know how amazing he is, but it feels like a comfortable sort of hanging out...not like my previous relationship, where I had a huge crush on the guy, and was sooooooo excited to start dating him. I miss having that nervous, I'm in love feeling.

What does lack of this feeling mean?? Does it mean I don't really have feelings for him, just like the idea of a bf, and I should break it off? What should I do about this situation, in terms of dating a younger guy, and working in the same lab (although I should be graduating in a year)?

Has anyone been in this situation before that could give me some advice? Thanks in advance

-Hope

[MerryH]

If you think dating him will have negative consequences to your professional life, then don't do it. It doesn't seem worth the risk, especially since you're not head over heels for him. You should have strong feelings for someone if you're going to date them seriously.

[mugz]

well the age doesnt matter and if u seem unable to decide to be together then most likely it wont work out because if u felt the same way he feels about u..u wouldnt be confused about it..

[hope555]

I know! That's my dilemma exactly...do you really have to be head over heels to date someone? Or sometimes do you grow to fall deeply in love with them? Right now, I'm def not head over heels..but I love his character. Is it worth giving this a try, or am I wasting my time, and possibly making him resentful towards me for wasting his time and playing with his feelings?