Today I said goodbye to that special lady in my life because no matter how hard we would try certain things would not fall into place.
I am not here for advice as such because we've ultimately made the decision however difficult it is and we've got to live with it. However I just want to let out steam to someone, since I don't speak about these things to anyone else.
For the first time in my life, I wept (normally not an emotional guy) and wept for almost an hour and I'm still in a state of complete emptiness. It was extremely painful as we both acknowledged our love but also that circumstances are so difficult for both of us that we cannot be together.
The goodbye is so painful that I'm thinking I wish I never met her to end up in this state of complete sadness. I know everyone deals with heartbreak/loss differently, but since this is the first time for me, I don't know what or how I'll cope. Soon enough we'll both be exceptionally busy in our lives. Soon enough the chaotic routines of everyday life will start to take over this constant thinking about each other, but until then I feel so empty. It's almost like death is easier than this, but God forbid that should happen.
My GF was the most wonderful girl, she was able to find even my most lamest jokes funny, she was interested even after all that time together, the little nonsense that occurs in my daily life and most importantly, she showed a love and care for me that can only be matched by my mother.
I've said goodbye to her and she to me, we've both got our closure (is that what you call it in this scenario?) and it's extremely painful, but I guess life can be so cruel sometimes that you've no choice but to take the hit and move on.
Sorry if this is all mumbo jumbo, I just needed to release my thoughts to someone or anyone.