contact the ex?

[helpme1989]

I was recently introduced to your forum and i'm hoping for some honest opinions and useful advice. I started sating my ex Dave* 3 years ago and from the get go we had a great relationship. The connection I felt with him was one I have never felt before. We were mates before we started dating and i knew him for a year before our relationship progressed. It felt as if we understood and 'got' each other and I confided things in him that I haven't told anyone even up until now. But being as young and immature as I was not content with having such a wonderful boyfriend. I started sleeping with my ex boyfriend Steve* for the last 2 months of my 2 year relationship with Dave. Eventually Dave found out and everything went downhill from there. Even as our relationship was coming to a close i was still treating Dave like shit and taking him for granted. We drifted apart and our break up was not a good one. I didn't understand what i was throwing away and i was only living in the moment. Our whole relationship Dave was nothing but a gentleman and treated me with nothing but respect, love and kindness. He was even kind enough to take me for in when i had a falling out with my family and decided to stay in Sydney even though his family lived across the country. He changed his whole life so we could spend more time together including his job schedule which he changed to day shift.

After the break up he moved back to W.A i tried to message him a few times but understandably he was stand offish. I constantly tried to check up on him on Facebook but until recently he had me blocked (should i take it as a sign that I'm no longer blocked?). I think his life it at a good point and I don't know if my contacting him would do more harm than good. I know I've left it a very long time but I have not had the courage to do anything about it until now. Probably through fear of rejection. As I've gotten older i realised all the wrong things I've done to him and all the hurt i must've caused and i wholeheartedly want to apologise for everything. I'm not asking if we can rekindle a relationship but I certainly do miss the way things used to be and our really strong bond. I'm finding it so hard to even concentrate on things without catching myself thinking about him and reminiscing. He's always on my mind and i feel like I have to do something about it! I know that I'm feeling more than guilty for cheating and i think my feelings are still strong for him.

My question is should i try and contact him through Facebook or what would be the best thing for me to do? And to other people who have been in this situation would u prefer to even hear from an ex that cheated on you and would you ever forgive them?

Thanks for reading and for all the help!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You should just kill yourself.

[devonbrown]

I am not understanding what the point of contacting him would be? To ease your conscience? Do you think there is anything you can say to him that will make him feel better about the fact that you cheated on him and played him for a chump?

Seriously, think about WHY you want to contact him. If it is for you, then don't do it. Think about it from his perspective. He probably took a long time to get past what you did. Maybe he even has trust issues still. But maybe he feels he is in a good place in his life (like you said). Why do you want to screw with that? Contacting him seems to be only a selfish thing. He doesn't need the contact. If he wants to contact you, he will.

If you want to feel better, write him a letter and then put it in a drawer. There is no need for him to ever read it.