- Don't dwell on old relationships and old mistakes, but do learn from them. This person is not the same as the last.
- Communicate. Never assume something. Lack of communication starts fights, and hurts feelings, and kills relationships. Always be honest with your mate. Talk about things that really bother you to see if you can change them. Talk about things you like so he can do them more.
- Compromise. When you have a disagreement, whether it's about what to eat for dinner, where to go for vacation, or which friends to see, compromise on the solution. Not everyone will get what they want every time.
- When discussing emotional topics, do not do personal attacks, or call names, like "You are a jerk." Use "I" statements like "It bothers me when you don't do the dishes like you said you would." Be calm and rational. Listen to your partner for a reasonable amount of time, then they should listen to you. Make sure you both understand the other's viewpoint and feelings about a topic.
- Do not talk about ex boy/girlfriends. There's no point to this and it only breeds jealousy.
- Do not make big decisions using only emotions. This almost always ends badly. If you think he's cheating on you, get proof before taking action. NEVER ASSUME. To assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.
- Be kind to each other. Support each other. Set each other up for success. Support each other's hobbies, do them together if possible.
- Be there for each other on bad days. It's fine to take care of your partner once in a while, but they should also know how to take care of themselves.
- You must love your self before you can truly love someone else. This means you have to get rid of your emotional baggage before you can open your heart to someone else. You must be comfortable with yourself, and your quirks and weaknesses.
- Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Be aware that your partner is not perfect, they will have annoying quirks, or bad days, but you will still get through it. See "Be there for each other".
- Know what's normal for men. Men have a high sex drive, so they want lots of sex. That doesn't mean they don't care about you, or that's all they want. Watch their actions, ignore what they say. People can lie but actions speak louder than words.
- Don't try to change the other person, they have to change themselves. Trying to change them only leads to fights and frustration. You CAN talk to them about issues, and suggest solutions, but they have to be the one to change.
Last edited by bulrush; 02-12-11 at 08:38 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)