My boyfriend and I are both 22. We've been best friends for 3 years and have been dating for 5 months. He was in a long distance relationship with another girl before going out with me, they were together for 4 years and a half, but they rarely ever saw each other during the last couple of years (before dating me, that is: now they don't see each other at all) and things had been rough between them for a long time. I was also in a relationship with another guy before dating my best friend, it was a long term relationship of 2 years and a half.
The problem is that, while I have gotten 95% over my ex and am 100% in love with my current bf, he still has trouble "forgetting" about her, and is therefore "unsure" whether he is in love with me or not (he takes this term VERY seriously, as I do). Our mistake was to start dating as soon as he broke up with her. I told him it would have been better to wait, to give him time to process the break up (I broke up with my ex a month earlier and therefore had some time to elaborate), but he insisted we dated straight away.
He used to get "cold and distant" moments a lot during our first period as a couple, because he was struggling with the baggage of his previous relationship, but I was very patient and as months went by we got closer and closer. Now he doesn't think about her half as often as he used to, but I can tell (and he didn't deny it when I asked him) that she is still in his heart. Somewhere deep down, he still believes that there will be a happy ending for the two of them.
Clearly it breaks my heart, because I am deeply in love with him and I strongly believe in our relationship. I can see myself growing old with this guy. We have had many conversations about this situation, which is causing a lot of pain to the both of us. He feels guilty because he sees how much I'm hurting because of his indecisiveness, and because sometimes he wonders whether he did the right thing in breaking up with her (this happens more and more rarely as time goes by but it still hurts like hell, the both of us).
It's gotten to the point that he has decided to get a counseling session next week. We are both hoping that things will get better, because when he isn't submerged by memories and guilt, we have the best times together. He says that if it weren't for this problem (that he's having so much trouble getting entirely over his ex), ours would be a healthy, loving, deep relationship: the one that we both want with each other (and that we actually already have, when he isn't thinking about the past). But for me it just gets more and more difficult to keep believing in "us", since sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that does.
What do you think, does this relationship have a chance? Thank you for reading.
[edit] I should probably add that him and I have been having an emotional affair for over an year before we finally started dating each other. We didn't do anything before that because we both cared for our partners a lot, felt too guilty, etc. It was a mistake to wait so long, I know, but that's how it went.