I do not want to be the dentist in this relationship

[hairy1165]

I really need some advise from someone I don't know. So, about three weeks ago, I agreed to perform in a sketch performance with a friend. The sketch called for a male who would be willing to do a Chippendale's type performance on stage. Before we got on stage the actor needed some panties from one of the three ladies performing. Since the other ladies are large, I had to take mine off and go commando. The actor I have known for about five years, but it has been more of a friend of a friend kind of a thing. I had once seen him at a distance at a party, but mostly knew of him through our circle of friends. This man is very, very attractive, but that's about it for me. He is known in our city as a local Billy Bob Thorton/Matthew Mccounaughey(only from Dazed and Confused). In fact, there is a documentary about him that did the film circuit for independent films in 2010. This is how he is described in IMBD " A renaissance man from the Austin underground, infamously sex-addicted NAME publishes a magazine and fronts bands, abuses cocaine while dealing weed, and writes and lives his own hilarious brand of humor as this father, felon and man-about-town must finally grow up when a crisis befalls his estranged family.The trailers for the film are disgusting. Just disgusting. The only endearing quality this man has is his incredible ability to write and his love for guinea pigs.

Recently, I found out he wanted to take me out. In fact, I found out he has wanted to for years and I apparently was clueless. I have been on two dates with him now and I cannot convince that it will not work out. I am the anti-thesis of the type of woman he is accustomed to. I cannot figure out for the life of me why he would be interested in me. On the outside, I'm a jeans/sweat pants t-shirt kind of girl. I am not a "sexy" person because I'm just to clumsy. I am a goofy type of person. That is not to say I can't be sexy and dress to the nines, but it's not a daily thing for me. Also, I don't drink and don't do drugs. I do smoke cigs. I am a very introspective person who loves the arts and writing and tend to friend people that are off the wall types. I'm from Austin, so if you are familiar with the Keep Austin Weird type, you will know.

The two dates I have been on with him have resulted in me doing most of the talking. I hate that set up. I am most comfortable when there is a balanced level of reciprocity in conversations. I have tried numerous times to discourage him, but it's not working. I don't want to insult him, but on a personal level and in terms of my intellectually snobby family, it just won't work. My family will eat him alive. I don't want that for him. He has made some changes in his life like working for an attorney, wearing suits 5 days a week, but that's it.

I tried asking him why he never has questions for me. He never has any conversation. How can someone say they like someone and have no questions. I asked him, "don't you want to get to know me." I do not want to be liked or to like someone just on face value. Am I going crazy?

Please help me find a way to politely get out of this without coming off as a pompous, arrogant ass.

Confused.

[searock]

Just tell him that you'd rather remain just friends with him... as you would with any other guy you found out you didn't like once you dated him a couple of times? Why not?

[edit] and please don't cross-post in different sub-forums...

[hairy1165]

Thank you. I'm sorry I cross posted. I wasn't sure how this worked.

[bulrush]

Tell him once, you do not want to date him anymore. Then don't answer his calls, texts, emails or anything. How complicated can that be? Doesn't matter what he thinks of what you said, the relationship is over.

P.s. A Chippendale's dance is what men do. Women can do a strip tease, or burlesque, which is a bit different than a strip tease. So when I read the first parargraph, I thought you were a gay man in a relationship.

[hairy1165]

Thank you. The sketch was about three women watching a male stripper. He was the stripper. I'll have to read how I wrote it. I guess maybe I'm not sure what to do because he just doesn't talk. Thanks though.