horny wife

[scarletbegonias]

I've never posted anything on a message board or chat room before. I'm at the end of my rope and I am hoping for some helpful male perspective. Here's the deal: I can not get my husband to initiate sex with me. I'm married to a great guy and basically have a good happy life with him and our children. We've been together 3+ years and I'm still CRAZY about the guy. Most of the time he will participate if I get the ball rolling but he never seems to want to have sex if I don't start it. This issue bubbles into an argument a few times a year for us. I feel like he doesn't desire me. It's very painful. He always seems surprised when I bring the issue up. His take on it is always, didn't we just talk about this, or I did intitate sex that one time remember. He just won't grab on to the idea that I need regular physical validation from him.

I am sooooo sexually frustrated I'm going out of my mind! I have all this pent up energy. I'm starting to feel very angry toward him.

Maybe it is to much to ask that I get a good guy and a good sex life. However, I don't think I can keep living with this level of frustration.

Any advise?

[HeartIsAching]

It's likely he's got a lower libido than you do. The fact that he cooperates if you start the ball rolling is good - that means he IS attracted to you. There's likely there's not much you can do about it. Have you tried communicating this to him plainly?

[scarletbegonias]

Yes, I have told him. I am frustrated because if I were to never initiate sex, it feels like it wouldn't matter to him. We have had sex maybe 8-10 times in the last year. And that's not the only part, he finishes fast. When I say fast, I mean like 5 minutes of just kissing and light rubbing, then 1-2 minutes of actual intercourse. I never get any type of sexual satisfaction.

[Superfantastich]

how old is he?

[jigggar]

think urself lucky that at least he wil participate if u start things, all i get is shoved aside.. my man wld rather watch porn n please himself than even think of coming to me - and we hav no kids!!

im goin out of my mind, if u find something that works for u let me no pls pls pls =(

[jigggar]

think urself lucky that at least he wil participate if u start things, all i get is shoved aside.. my man wld rather watch porn n please himself than even think of coming to me - and we hav no kids!!

im goin out of my mind, if u find something that works for u let me no pls pls pls =(

[bulrush]

He might get his testosterone levels checked. It has a little to do with sex drive. The other thing is, have you asked him if there's another reason why he doesn't get things going? Maybe he feels stressed.

What is his age?
How much does he exercise? How many times per week? How many minutes each time? What are his workouts like?
Exercise plays a big part in increasing libido, especially in middle-aged and older men. About age 40+.

[alwaystryin]

Yes, how old is he? Has he been the same way in prior relationships? Has he EVER initiated sex? What about in the beginning of the relationship when you're supposed to be all gooey and stuck to each other.. did you both have that? Is it possible he's in the closet?