you sound like a buffer while he & she get close again.
you sound like a buffer while he & she get close again.
We are both 20, I know were still young but I really thought she was the one, I felt like and everyone around us said the same, we were as perfect as perfect could be.
One thing I would like to add is she's still wearing the ring I bought her for valentines, it has 2 precious stone love hearts on it, so it's obviously not your average ring, does this mean something?
Thanks everyone!!!! I really mean it, thank you.
You are being her e-tampon. Look, she's choosing (or at least hoping) to be with an asshole over you, who are demonstrably her friend and sounds like the better choice of partner.
Do you have so little self-respect you'll let this girl do this to you? Here's a truth: fair maid (well, not in her case) was never won by a guy who waited in the wings for another to finish up with her. Understand, Bob?
You have to tell her straight up you are the better guy. If she can't see it, she doesn't deserve you and you need to cut contact. That's about the only way she'll wake up. Good luck.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Yes, it means you are being the classic 'Nice Guy' who is not going to get his girl unless you stop bending over backwards for her. Again, if you are the better man, then tell her so in no uncertain terms. She's either an idiot or she isn't. And why would you want to be with an idiot?
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
What, so it's like a game that you want to make sure he doesn't win? This is silly. Don't concern yourself with what he's doing. Worry more about your ex-girlfriend and what she's doing to you. She isn't being very considerate of your feelings. You should be more angry about this. It's not fair that she's stringing you along while she decides what to do with you. It's really terrible of her. Don't allow someone to toy with your head like that. And I know you're going to say, "No, she's not cold bitch, she wouldn't do that." Fine. Give her the benefit of the doubt, she's not doing it on purpose, but the result is the same - your head is being ****ed with.
Best case scenario: Tomorrow, she decides that she's going to stop talking to him and she's going to fully commit to making your relationship work. Would you be completely satisfied with that? Would that feel like a happy victory? Would you be able to forget about her mistreatment of you and forgive her for the pain she's caused you? I can't imagine a relationship surviving something like this. You probably think everything will be okay if she would just come back to you, but the reality is that it's most likely not going to be okay, not after all this.
Move out. You need to start moving on (in a real way, though, not just in a way to game her into missing you or whatever.) Whether you end up getting back together or not, living elsewhere will be best for you. I assume you're on a lease for a few more months, but there are ways out of it. Find out what they are and get out of there. It is absolutely imperative that you do this.
Thank you for your comments, I do understand that she shouldn't be treating me like this, but I miss her so much and everytime I spend time with her I see the person she was when I fell in love with her.
As for moving out, it's impossible until May, iv looked into it.
A few hours ago I found out that she's now friends with her ex on Facebook, it just feels like another step in the process of them getting closer, I'm furiated but I'm not gonna show it else I look like the bad guy again.
I think even if you told/asked her not to contact him again two things would happen.
1. she'll get upperty and say she can be friends with who ever she wants..and she keeps in contact with him
2. She agrees to leave him alone...which she may do for a short term but somehow dickheads are like boomerangs and in no time at all they we be all cuddly again.
Yes it's hard. But do you want to be used?
Okay, thanks everyone for your help but I again went to speak to her tonight and she told me she was in love him.....I've had enough, I gave up everything for her, absolutely everything!
Felling low is an understatement, but I think it's time I gave up and moved on with my life. (although we'll still be living in the same house until May)
Thanks again everyone for your support, this is one amazing forum.
Sorry for you bob. Plenty of other lovely ladies in the world for you.
cant you ask her to leave?
We're in Student accommodation (rented shared house) so she's on her own contract, plus I'm a nice person, If I asked her to leave then I'd feel like the relationship has ended with me in the wrong, if that makes sense.
It's really hard because I really don't have anyone else other than her, I live away from my friends and family at home (because of University) and I lost every friend because of the situation I got myself into (as explained in the original post), so it's how do I get myself out of this depressing low and somehow rebuild my social life without feeling guilty when I come back at night to my Ex living in the room next door.
I still care so so so much about her.
I'm sorry... but since she no longer loves you, you can actually move on.
How come she have to wait until May till she moves out?
Well, you can try and make new friends...
Both of our contracts end in May/June, theres no getting out....as part of the rental agreement because it's student accommodation our parents are co-signers so if we "leave" the rent is taken from our parents as a backup. :/
Before you said that she is thinking of moving out before Christmas with her ex? What happened to that?