Okay, this is such an embarrassing problem, but it's totally crippling my self-esteem AND potentially ruining my relationship.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, things are good, we love each other, etc. But I can't stop obsessing over his ex girlfriend. They were together for about two years, but he broke it off because "it was getting too serious" and he's still very young. They were each other's first real relationship, crazy in love, I'm sure, and all that textbook first romance stuff.
Now I'm positive he was over her by the time we got together and he never really mentions her either, so it's all in my head. Which is even more frustrating! But I can't stop internet-stalking her, facebook, google, etc. It just bothers me so much that she seems perfect in every way, not just objectively speaking (that too), but perfect for HIM. And so so much more beautiful than me which I think is what bothers me most, if I'm honest. Now I can be pretty, but she's model gorgeous and so photogenic with a great smile and fantastic butt (and I know he's into that), it just drives me insane. Whenever I see a picture of her it just blows my self-esteem completely. I start to think that he must be regretting breaking up with her and if he should compare me to her, it would not end in my favour, especially since he's never mentioned any other fault with their relationship other than "it was getting too serious" (so she could have been the ONE, but they were just too young or something, are you kidding me??). It makes me want to break up with him right here and now just so I can save myself the embarrassment of being dumped and lose even more of my already fragile self-esteem.
I'M USUALLY A RATIONAL AND INTELLIGENT PERSON. How did this happen to me? I'm guessing it's totally an insecurity issue that would have lifted its head in one way or another, gorgeous ex or not, but I can't seem to get over it myself. I've tried to stop looking at her pictures, but I eventually I keep coming back to it. It's like a twisted addiction.
Please, give me some words of wisdom and encouragement. Don't be too cruel, because I'm already beating myself up over this.