Down and out

[flyhighmichelle]

hello-

i am in my late 40s and cannot seem to find someone to share my life with. i believe i am a very beautiful woman who has a lot of wonderful traits but cannot seem to find someone with whom to share my life. i have tried meeting men in many different ways, including online dating, which have all turned out to be disastrous. men tend to look at me and are either intimidated or just want one thing from me, they do not seem interested in getting to know me. i married at 18 and divorced about 3 years go. my marriage was awful and i finally had the courage to leave. in short, i have never known what is it to be truly loved by a man. my kids are all grown and have their own lives and i just don't feel that my life has any purpose. i come home from work to an empty house with no one even to call me and ask how my day was. i desperately want a man to care about me, to love and be loved. why is that so hard? i will say that as desperate as i am, i am not willing to "settle" for the first man that happens to come into my life. i am not picky, i just know what i do not want. to me, a life without this is not worth living, and i think i am dying a slow death inside. and yet, i still have many tears that i shed. i do not know what the answer is, i just know that i am screaming inside to be loved.

[PROMD1]

Welcome to the forum michelle
Nice read
His out there somewhere

[bcgirl]

You've been married for a long time and divorced 3 years ago.... allow yourself proper healing time to get over the divorce. If you feel like you are absolutely ready to move on, then do it because you want to love a man.....not because you are desperate for a man to love you. There is a big difference between the two and you need to understand that in order to move on in a positive direction. I believe it is all about energy and portraying a positive energy that attracts people. You may be a very beautiful woman, but if you are sad inside, your energy will not attract the proper mate that you want in life. Instead you will attract those that are sad, desperate, or those like your ex husband. Ever wonder why some 6/10 girl gets a 9/10 guy? It's most likely her energy that she gives off that is so attractive to potential mates.
Why not try this.... do something for yourself and only yourself. Don't worry about meeting guys. Sign up for something that will make you feel better about you...like joining yoga classes, the gym, an activity or hobby you would enjoy. Don't even worry about dressing to the 9's or putting on too much make-up.....betcha anything a guy will approach you when you are feeling good about yourself and your accomplishments. It's just how the universe works.
Oh....just today I get out of yoga class, all sweaty, in work-out gear and no make-up with my hair in a messy bun....this gorgeous guy who seriously could be hotter than Bradley Cooper hits on me and asks me out. I know it's my positive energy I had this morning..... anyhow, i'm happily married. Bummer....jk

[alwaystryin]

Welcome

What else are you doing to 'do you' other than trying to find a man? I agree that you should definitely get out there and find things to feed your own happiness and interests. Love seems one of the last things you'll find if you're actually looking for it. If you're miserable inside only you can change that. Depending on someone else for that is never a good idea. Maybe you've lost (or never found) your own identity being married for so long. I'd concentrate on that first. In my eyes online dating is a last resort. Just get out there and have some fun. Being happy isn't something you look for, it's something you decide you're just going to be. I'd say start by treating yourself... spa perhaps?? Meet other people and make new friends.. museum, a dance class?.. any social situation where you're exposed to people and new experiences can help you get out of that rut. Maybe therapy to push you towards realizing your own self worth. No one else can give you that.