So hear it goes! To begin with, I have been a bisexuall in the closet for as long as i can remember, and recently i have discover that im actually full blown gay. Nobody knows about this, not my parents, not my friends, no one. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago i met this girl, we started out as friends, mostly hanging out at her apartment playing nintendo and watching anime. At the time she had a boyfriend so I never really had to worry about things getting weird.
Well, about a month later she broke up with her boyfriend and started hangig out with me a lot more than before. Then one faithful night when we were both drunk she tried to kiss me, and stupid as I am, I thought I would try to kiss her back just to see if I would enjoy it as i once used to, I did not.
Little did i know that she thought this was a way bigger thing than just an innocent kiss. Now she kind of think we are a couple and i constantly have to avoid getting into intimate situations, feeling disgusted when we occasionally kiss and routinely lie to her face. I truly and deeply hate myself for leading her on and i can hardly belive im in this messed up situation. I have to tell her the truth.
But if I tell her the truth there is a pretty big chance that everybody i know eventually will find out and im so not ready for that. But I don't want to simply "dump" her either, she just had her heart broken by this other guy and i guess i like her to much as a friend to do the same thing.
So what i want to know is basicly what poison i should pick, do i tell her that im gay and hope that she wont tell anyone and still be my friend? Should i just dump her and disappear which would probably destroy her? Will she feel better about being left if she knows im gay?
Sorry if i don't make any sence (Swedish) or even know how this will help? I guess i just need to tell somebody about my somewhat ****ed up life.