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Thread: Does he seem interested in me sexually? How do I let him know I'm interested in sex?

  1. #1
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    Does he seem interested in me sexually? How do I let him know I'm interested in sex?

    Okay, I'm in college--a freshman.
    I just broke up with my long distance bf about a month ago and that was hard for me. However, through it all this guy I met in my college has been there with me. He's a great friend who gave me advice about my relationship troubles and stuff. He would say things like "why dont you date someone you know...here" in an awkward way. In the beginning of the semester, we partied together, he held my hand and we talked all night. It actually got to a point where I had to tell him I had a boyfriend. He sort of backed off a bit.
    Now that I am actually single, I just hope I didn't ruin my chances. We are still very close but based on the following things, do you think he put me in the friend zone?:
    -we hang out just the two of us a lot--eating, studying
    -he makes implied sexual jokes, like we are studying in a classroom together and he's like "hmmm imagine getting f*cked in a classroom, against a blackboard?" and I reply "lol every nerd's dream" and then he's like "I'll have you up against the blackboard and go bam, bam lmao" and then I just put up on my hand and said "omg, enough lmao" and then we went back to what ever we were doing.
    -he sometimes just stops and stares at me with this face (he's not making it on purpose but it's soo sexy) and it makes me blush
    -but he never makes a move!! he made one before I guess when he asked to touch my hair and then he started like caressing/petting my head and then basically put his body over me but then i moved abruptly and acted weirded out (but it was weird, who pets someone like a dog?)
    -he made a joke about AIDS and then he's like "I have HIV and do you want me to give it to you? bec i would enjoy it"

    Based on this, yes he's awkward and not aggressive but very attractive. I really want to sleep with him. How do I go out doing this? I feel like I had many opportunities but I get kind of uptight/embarrassed/idk when he gets all sexual around me. I want him to know I want to sleep with him without coming out and saying "f*ck me". How should a girl approach a guy...it's not a relationship..just sex.

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    Hmm, contradictions abound in your post. You sound like a perfectly normal, rather shy young girl, a little flustered and excited by the prospect of a new romance, but then you state it's 'just sex'. Yet you don't want to be obvious about saying you want just sex.

    I don't think promiscuity will work for you and maybe you just need to get to know this boy and let a relationship develop, since you already have a close association with him. Otherwise just use time worn female wiles to give him the message that you are ready to take it to another level. You don't have to be crude and say f**k me, I'm sure he'll get the messag if you say something like "I think I'm in the mood, are you doing anything tonight?". But if you are going to do the college play the field thing then expect to lose him as a friend, too.

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    The thing is, I am still quite hurt by my past relationship so I kind of developed trust issues. I don't feel like I'm ready to fully handle a relationship right now but I'm extremely attracted to this guy. ALSO, he has many flaws that I don't want to deal with while in a relationship (he's temperamental for example).

    I forgot to add that we discussed my sexual habits before (he knows that I had sex with my past boyfriend). I dont know what guys think about girls that have already done it.

    But you're right, I am not promiscuous at all. I've never had sex outside of a serious relationship and thats why this is sooo hard for me

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    -he makes implied sexual jokes, like we are studying in a classroom together and he's like "hmmm imagine getting f*cked in a classroom, against a blackboard?" and I reply "lol every nerd's dream" and then he's like "I'll have you up against the blackboard and go bam, bam lmao" and then I just put up on my hand and said "omg, enough lmao" and then we went back to what ever we were doing.
    Wow you have awful communication skills. He made an implication, that he likes you, and you gave him negative responses.

    Here's how this should go:
    Him: "hmmm imagine getting f*cked in a classroom, against a blackboard?"
    You: I'd like that with you. *wink* (This is where you put your hand on his crotch.)
    Him: "I'll have you up against the blackboard and go bam, bam lmao"
    You: I'd be like "Oh! oh! oh! Bring it baby! Bring the bacon home!" (This is where you mime having sex.)

    Class dismissed.
    You're welcome.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    im not that type of person...im so shy

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    no one is "that kind of person".

    except porn actresses.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    ohh thats not the proper way to do things? lmao

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    Have you watched Friends with Benefits? lol

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    noopes.
    Well on Saturday night, we hung out from 8pm to 4 o clock in the morning! we ate, went to the lib where I noticed he started getting extra close to me..we went down to the dungeon level and he's like look at these books in the dark case areas. he got close to me as i was reading and i was just like predicting i didnt notice.
    we then went to my room..i have a single..and watched a movie until 4 in the morning.
    when he comes in he's like i'll sit on this chair be/c you probably have sex on that bed and i laugh (sorta)
    1/3 into the movie im like you can sit here on the bed and he's just like noo im okay
    i dont get it o_O
    why would a guy ask to come to your room at 3am to watch a movie?
    Last edited by Jessica1; 13-12-11 at 02:37 PM.

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    he's got it in his head that either A: you're not interested B: you're not that type of girl...either way he is probably just playing it safe.

    you have to understand how nerve racking it can be for a guy to go in for the move when you leave him unsure...it's going to be a 3 step process...

    go out to a party with him...dress sexy...drink...give him "that look" and at the end of the night have him take you back to your room. say something like "stay with me tonight"

    it's not slutty...it's seductive...and you're protecting yourself because you can always say you weren't talking about sex =)

    speaking of protection...you should probably have some in your room. if he doesn't think you want that with him he probably won't be prepared and nothing kills a mood more than that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by valmont View Post
    you have to understand how nerve racking it can be for a guy to go in for the move when you leave him unsure
    Absolutely. I used to spend a lot of time with a female friend who I was just dying to get into bed with. Never happened because I wasn't sure that it was what she wanted.

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    If you're shy then don't expect too much lovin. You can be direct and classy too. You could say: "I'd like to make love with you tonight. Let's go to my place."
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Okay I was just afraid to say I wanted sex before because I didnt know if he was into me...but we've been talking/seeing each other everyday for the past week. I just came back from studying with him again actually. Well we have a long winter break coming up in two days (a one month or so separation) but hopefully things go smoothly when I see him again in January. Maybe I'll gain more confidence lol.
    Last edited by Jessica1; 15-12-11 at 07:00 AM.

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    Be direct with him - then he'll get the message. With my ex girlfriend one night I said 'I want to make love with you'. And she said - OK go ahead.

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