where to begin... so im 18 i never had a gf befor, i've been dating women a few times and from what i have been told from some drunk talking with my grl frieds im the guy who u marry to...too sad to be that guy as a teenage...im a pretty good looking if i need to describe myself im no too tall but not short thats for sure, i have a short brown hair, i im training in the school athletic team, i surf, i read alot and im always trying to be a gentleman, and in like 5 month ill be joining one of the elite combat unite of the israel defence forces.
my story maybe wierd, but for me its kinda sad and if u missunderstood something its because im drunk..so just ask..
i never wrote on a forum befor so.. ill just tell u my story.
well it begins when i was 17 i was at the 11 grade and a new student just joined our class.. her name was eden.. at first i didnt pay very much attention to her .. we were laughing during class and she was like laughing with us from the other side of the class..after a whille she started talking to us and suddenly she is a part of our gang like where we go she go and we were always watching her..eden have a special relationship with her mother.since she was an only child and her mother was a single parent they were fighting alot and eden's mother always wanted to know where she was and what she was doing..and here u go u got a girl with a mother's issues that hide things and go to places she shouldn't with ppl she shouldn't hand out with, oh! did i forgot to mantion that eden have an extremely hot body? but that wasnt what i was seeing at her, it was just the part that made here what she is now..so one night i was on facebook and suddenly i get a messege from her, we start talking about everything she was kinda exporering me she asked me alot of question about my self between those question which i cant forget even thou it was almost 2 years ago she asked my how come i dont have a gf and she started complimenting me and one line i will never forget was that she said that 95% of the cases love is under ur nose. the next days eden and i were the best of friends, i dont know y i opened to her that much i guess she was the only girl that really got me, we did lots of things together like going to the bich. studying, texting, talking on the phone for hours, and after almost every training i had she was waiting for me at her home with a pasta pot she was making like i liked. things were like that for the whole 11's grade, then the spring brake came and we were hanging more at the bich , we even went to a salsa club there every weekend and were dancing partners, at this point i knew that there is something in this girl, not that i wasnt niticed this befor but i denided that becaus i always though the she wasnt for me since we r like really opened to each other like friends and not like a couple... that was the emotionally hardest summer i ver had since every time a met a girls i was thingin one thing " she isnt eden".well after the spring brake we got back to school and from some unknown reason eden wasnt telling me good morning, or calling me, or laughing when i say something funny, she was even mocking me a few times, i felt so vulnerable so a took a step back and ignored her like a little chiled instead of asking her whats going on...well after a month that we didnt talk to each other i called her a told her i wanna meet her and talk about this and she said that he will call me back about this because she was busy or something,(btw: she didnt even noticed that i was ignoring her, that was the part that made me the most mad) anyway i waited 6 months and she didnt "call back", 6 month of ignoring a person u have felling to, i couldnt look in her eyes, her big brown eyes and every time i heard her laugh i was thinkin to myself that im suppose to make her laugh and it pinced me every time. well so after 6 months right , i called her asked her if she were home and went to her house (that phone call was one of the most awkward things i've ever done. calling a person u have felling to after 6 months of ignoring her when she didnt even give a sign of niticing that). so anyway i went to her house we talked about it, it was actually not as bad as i though , she told me that i was so close to her so she didnt know how to talk to me and tha she tred alot of times but i was such a "gentleman" and ignored her as i said earlier so i was out of reach for her. well we were good friends again for like 2 months and then i told her that i love her, i was kinda drunk that night ( i usually dont drink but i though of telling her that for a while and drinked for a reason i dont remember...) well when i was looking for her when i felt it was time i've been told that she walked with some guy who i hate very much, i called her and told her i was coming( at this point i remember i was gonna kick his ass so bad that he messed with a girl who isn't mine O.O) well so suddenly i see her standing in front of me, i look at her with an animal angry face walk fast to her, hug her aggresively and kiss her, that was our first kiss, a full of pasin kiss near a campfire under the stars, then we had a conversation with i barely remember. the following week was a jewish hollyday, i was calling her fo rthis whole week but she was avoiding me(WTH?!?!). i wanted to know what heppened and what r we. that week was a living hell to me. i was all day thinking what heppened and what im gonna say to hwr and what she feels about me. on the first day we returned to school she didnt even look at me, she was avoiding me, so i went to her house and she sayd that, that night we kissed she told me that she is emotionally unavailable atm since she was after a relationship with an older man (what is ur deal girls with older men??? i have to date a 16 year old girl so she will be able to love me back?!?!) so i accepted what she was saying and left that with alot of questions and thoughts. 2 weeks later we barely spoke to each other se texted me that her frind is having a birthday party and no one is coming, i was like "what do u want me to do?!?!" and she was aggresive and told me " oh thats what a man act like!!" i was so mad atm and called 15 more ppl and mad her friend a party i even didnt wanted to be in, well we in that party , suddenly someone i dont know entering and turned out he was eden's date (WTFFF!!?!?!?!!) i was so mad at that moment like tow weeks ago she was unavailable but when its an older man she is available?!?!?! what?!? im not good enough?!? well after that party i as u can predict stopped talking to her again and i though that that would be it. but it wasnt after that i felt so bad i just wanted to be alone i wanted to join the army, leave my friends and family dropp all i got , i felt like i dont care if ill live or die, i just weanna be alone...i lost my confidence on women, i cant speak to them, even when i was dating i was sittin all quiet barely speaking, and now im writting it in a forum wich tells how bad i feel... so thats me introducing my self... ohh and im Ben by the way. nice meeting u all if u have any comments please tell me what u think of my story and if u have any advices..