A rather big headache

[chrislwc]

Hi guys, i'm just a 18 year old guy and i've a story to tell.

She's of my age and we are from the same enrichment programme in the same school, called ISLE. It requires us to go on a year-end trip to China which lasts around 16 days. Basically, nothing happens for the most part of the year before the trip. Our team had to prepare for materials and the trip itself, and also do a fund-raiser 4 months before the trip.

Nothing special happened during this time; we hardly even talk to each other on a personal basis. Well, we only really started to talk like one week before the overseas trip, and it was a one-to-one kind of talking. We stopped at the same train station and were heading towards the same place. From there, i started to have a good feeling towards her. We talked really well and it wasn't just about ISLE. So, it was that time i felt a connection to her and i decided that i should start talking more to her. Subsequently, the day of the flight came and we were on our way to China.

Nothing much happened the first few days and we did not really talk since both of us were always around our close friends. She had a good friend who was also her roommate and she hardly talks to the other girls or guys in the group also. One of my good friends is her classmate in school and he told me that she's the rather quiet type of girl. Things started to develop rather quickly however. Somehow, one day after dinner, while walking back from the dinner place to our hotel, we happen to walk next to each other. So, i started to talk to her and we clicked again. It was really good. We teased about stuff and talked really well. The next few days, because our ISLE team had to go to a China school to attend lessons, sometimes we would have breaks and during those breaks, i would initiate a conversation with her and it always had a good feeling and she would talk to me real nice and give me smiles. It was until the 7th or 8th day where our team was given time to go to the "ancient town" to shop.

The team had to split into groups of 5 and i was in the same group as her and her best friend. Our group had me, her, her best friend, one other girl and a guy who is my friend. It was during this time i felt that, hey maybe she's interested in me too. When we walked down the streets of this place, we were always walking side by side in the front while the rest of the group were behind, no matter whether we enter a shop and leave it etc. We talked like couples going shopping together and it really felt good. I really thought that 'it' was going to happen.

From that day on, both of us were always glued to each other and there are other times where we had R&R time that we are always together, doing stuff together. Even the way we talk definitely isn't the "just friends" kind of talk. Even during one lunch, where we had Chinese steamboat, we sat next to each other and she even helped me take food without me asking, and our table had the 2 teachers sitting there too. At the panda reserve, we sat next to each other on the tram ride and it was really like we were a couple during the whole time. We even took pictures together, only the 2 of us. There were other really good things that happened too and it would take a *beep* lot of time to write it all down, but you get the point: i was really convinced that there was something going on between us. Even her best friend told the other guy who was in our group that she had a good impression and feeling about me. And her best friend even teased me at times to go find "her name" when she's not around.

Even my other friend who is a girl in the team said that, " this girl likes you, i'm quite sure". So the trip ends with me feeling quite good about this and i thought that i should continue this and not just let it die down. And i was rather confident about it and so, i sent her a text msg (which actually i regret later on), saying something like, " i really treasure the time we spent together there and i hope it was just as special to you as it is to me." and i asked her to give me a call if she feels the same way.

I got a reply from her like after a really great deal of time saying, "hey, thanks for how you feel, but im sry i dont exactly feel the same" and when i ask her if she really felt nothing, she said, "not nothing, more like i just made a friend cos i hardly talked to you during monday sessions". I was shocked, and my mind hurt so much that it became numb and i could not feel the pain. After that, i asked if we were still friends and she said, "yea (:".

It has been a day already and i am really clueless about what to do. I really like her a lot and it's plaguing my mind every single minute. Whenever i think of the times we spent together in China, i could not help but feel my heart being stabbed a million times. I'm really quite sure that there was something between us and maybe she just saying this because she's not ready for a relationship or something. Anyone could help a fellow heartbroken guy here? I really need some advice on how to go on with this. I will still get to see her next year since this ISLE programme lasts till April next year.

[searock]

Maybe she wanted to have fun during the trip with you, but you never made a move so now you lost the chance. Is it possible she is seeing someone else?

[chrislwc]

well, we flirted during the trip i guess. and she's not seeing anyone and she never dated before...

[searock]

I guess you should have made a move during the trip then. I'm sorry. Now she was quite clear as to where she stands... I guess you can just move on and perhaps one day she'll come around again. Were you good friends with her before the trip? Do you regularly hang out with her (in a friendly way)?

[chrislwc]

we only became closer during the preparations portion before the trip, and we hang out usually in groups, like the people of our team. actually i'm still talking to her casually now, and i've a strong feeling that i was just rather impatient about telling her what i felt during the trip...and i may have scared her?