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Thread: my Boyfriend's thinking out loud!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    2

    my Boyfriend's thinking out loud!!

    Hello, I've just joined here for some advice, so lovely to meet you all first off.
    Well. my boyfriend makes insensitive and unnecessary comments about famous "immaculate" women,who he is very attracted to, (very regularly i might add) which make me feel insecure, jealous and angry; angry because i feel that he is saying it to get a reaction from me; the most recent time was last night, when i was in fact trying to initiate intimacy with him, and he remarked on an actress on tv as being "hot", and her role in the program, was ironically a seductress. i felt humiliated and disregarded and like i didn't want him anywhere near me after he said it. I've told him before how it makes me feel when he does so, and he justified it as it having nothing to do with what him and i had; love and companionship, which i accepted because it made sense. But it really bothers me that he makes a point of doing so, still. I know it sounds a bit petty and insecure of me to feel this way, but it really bothers me and don't know how to STOP feeling that way! .why does he have to make a point in front of me if he finds another woman attractive and how do i not feel resentful and bitter towards him and handle the situation when he says things like that, when he makes these comments??
    any advice welcome, whether of the "man up" kind, or suggestions of how to turn my perspectives around.
    Hope you're all well
    x
    In another life, in another Dream, I will see you once again<3

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
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    4,622
    He sounds like a complete idiot. I would never EVER do that to my GF because I both love and respect her. Sounds like your BF does neither. Dump him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Female
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    120
    try making comments about attractive men, see how he reacts to that. Ask him if he thinks Brad Pitt has a big cock or is good in bed. Y'know, just making conversation.

    If he thinks someone is hot - fair enough, but to keep on mentioning it when he knows it upsets you is him being a complete douche.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,934
    I guess he needs to respect your wishes but if you were my GF, you'd be hitting the curb. Who cares if he thinks someone on TV is hot? You don't think she's hot? Or are you just insecure with you are? It's not a real person for god sakes! It's make believe....jeez!

    On the flip side, any guy who would be jealous if you said Brad Pitt was hot is an insecure prick

    So I guess he does need to be more sensitive towards you but cmon.... This is the real world. You won't get much out of it if something like this makes you feel insecure about your relationship
    Last edited by surfhb; 13-12-11 at 04:44 AM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Gender
    Female
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    4
    Whilst I can uderstand that his persistant comments may make you feel insecure, but only if you were lacking in confidence in the first place - in which case you need to talk to him and explain how his comments affect you in this way. However, I do also feel that you are perhaps being a little over-sensitive and could do with a little more perspective. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but let me explain.... He is talking about prople on television - people that he will NEVER meet in real life. He is NOT talking about women that he sees in the pub or in the supermarket. Personally, I would much rather that my man had a crush on a cepebrity than a "real" person!! I have a crush on Bradley Cooper, and would happily tell any man of mine that I do - I would not expect him to feel insecure by my comments as it is not as if I am plotting to meet him and make him fall madly in love with me.... However, if I told him that I had a crush on the man that lives over the road from me, I don't think that it would be unreasonable for him to feel a bit peeved about it. Do you see what I mean?

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