How do I tell my girlfriend I think she is stingy?

[throwaway321]

My girlfriend and I have been dating/together for about 9 months. During that time, she has never volunteered to pay for anything. She has offered to split only twice, once on the first date (where girls never pay anyways, this might have been a test actually), and the second time on my birthday.

The truth is, at the beginning when we had just started dating, this did not bother me a whole lot, but I'm beginning to resent this quite a bit. Money wise, she's from a fairly middle class family while my family is quite wealthy. However, I don't ask for or receive money from my parents so my funds are mostly limited to what I earn from a fairly average job. She a college student so she doesn't have a salary, but she does receive a decent amount of money from her parents. She's not in the situation where she's constantly trying to pay off bills or make ends meet, she has enough to be comfortable and she probably spends several hundred each month on non-essential purchases.

The thing is, I've had girlfriends in the past with much worse financial situations that still managed to voluntarily get the check with quite a bit of regularity. During our 9 month together, I have probably spent over $5000 on her (dinners, vacations, gifts, etc) and while I do love this girl a lot, I now can't shake the feeling that perhaps I am being used.

I've been meaning to have a direct talk with her about this for quite some time now, but I'm honestly quite afraid to bring it up. I'm afraid she'll be offended and say things like "you can't possibly imagine what it is like for regular people, money doesn't mean anything to you because your family is so wealthy, do you think I'm with you only for your money, etc etc". What is the best way to discuss this topic?

[Cerby]

You've already put words in her mouth. Personally, I'd be tactful and just stop going out, offer to cook for her more often etc. When she asks to go out for dinner, ask her if she is ok with paying because you were planning on staying in to save some money.

This puts it on her to make a decision. Although I'm against playing games, you can address the problem without actually bringing it up, and when it comes to money in dating relationships, sometimes its a good idea to avoid the conversation altogether.

[cmacc30]

After so many months it's tough raising a subject like this. The next time that she suggests doing something, I would perhaps try telling her that money is a bit tight this week and that you can't afford to go out unless she can share some of the cost. See what her reaction is like - she will either tell you that it's ok, she can help pay for dinner or whatever, in which case she has taken then hint. Otherwise, she will say not to worry as you can go out another time in which case you have opened up the opportunity to start a conversation about it. Talking about money is always tricky in most circumstances so the key really is to create an opportunity where it looks as though the topic has come up naturally.