Career and Relationship

[adonis_boy]

I have been with my gf for 1 year.

I am going to do my master thesis at a very reputable company in US and I have a high probability of being employed there after my thesis. On the other hand, she is graduating from her master program one semester after I graduate. When I ask her what she thinks about the future, she wants me next to her but at the same time, does not want to move far away from her mother, who is living alone with her little brother and father. For that reason, she is hesitant to move to US.

On my part, this career in US is one of my dream jobs and is a big career opportunity for me. I told her that I am dreaming about building a life with her there and I would do my best to bring her mother there if she needs it. She replies to me that she is under a big burden and it is very difficult for her to make a decision. I told her that I don't want to put her in a position where she has to choose between me and her family. In the end, I told her she should also pursue her dreams and time will show if we are meant to be together.

I have always been a very ambitious and independent person and I have always succeeded in life being this way, but I never had a relationship or someone else blurring my mind about this, that way. I want to see her next to me as my woman in the future but at the same time, I want to be working for my dream job and affording everything to have a good life quality with this girl. Maybe what I want is an idealized feature but I worked too hard for it and now I can see it becoming true. Her being hesitant and undecisive about her future also makes me nervous. My father left his dream job for my mother and then they got divorced, leaving him in an average life. This holds as a big example for me that relationships might make people regret things later. Of course, I cannot go to her and tell her this because I know it would hurt her.

Right now, I am very confused and bothered with this thing and I don't know what to tell her to make things better. I will be leaving in 2 months. I also don't want to make a life changing decision by leaving US for her and regretting it later. It would be nice to hear what you have to say about it.

[Boisdevie]

Only you can decide this one. Which doesn't make it easier does it?

[adonis_boy]

Only you can decide this one. Which doesn't make it easier does it?

Thanks. I know this already but it would be nice to hear a few inputs which would make my decision easier.

[bulrush]

It is possible, once you move to the US, that you will meet someone even more compatible than before, using your past experience with relationships. I think you will find another love sometime. Who knows, maybe she will eventually follow you. Jobs are hard to find, so grab that dream job while you can, love can wait. And love don't pay the bills.