Thank you all for your help [thread closed]
Thank you all for your help [thread closed]
Last edited by foxes; 15-12-11 at 07:59 PM.
I promise you this now, if you don't do something right now, you will regret it for years to come.
Giving up a place at oxford was lunacy. Go read through what you have just posted and for once think clearly. You have up a place at uni to be a babysitter in france living in a hostel with a bully of a boyfriend and no friends.
Wobble your head, book the first flight back home and leave all that sh1t behind. Never bother with that loser again, chalk it up to a life lesson that you've learned from.
Get your application in, see your friends, get yourself sorted.
If you're still in paris by the end of the week you're a fool.
"Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"
Got to agree with steviej. Go home, get uni sorted, go on with ur life. What he actually sacraficed for this relationship? U gav up uni, u went against ur parents wishes, ur the the one always getting upset. And what for? To have shit thrown at u, to be threatened! Thats crazy shit. He will tell u he loves u to keep u there. What he actually wants is control of u - taking u away from everyone and everything u know, so ur totally dependant on him. Its a spiral of decline, and deep down u really know that. Get urself home. For ur own safety x
Your bf sounds a little selfish. Keep your place at Oxford, don't leave it. You two might have an emotional connection, but that will not solve your incompatible goals. Compatibility in attitudes and goals is really important to having a relationship work out.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)
This guy is very very insecure. There is a reason an adult guy is dating YOU a teenager....because you are young, impressionable, less experienced and easily controlled.....control is the key word here. He knows if he ever tried to date someone his own age, he wouldn't be able to get away with his behavior. Manipulation, and verbal put downs is mental abuse. This is not how a loving relationship is. You cannot fix him. No matter what you to to please him, he will never be satisfied with you....he will keep belittling you, and try to pound down your self esteem to the point you will lose your individuality....it will be all about him.
You are a smart girl, young, you have goals, motivation to succeed, and a bright future.....you have your whole life ahead of you, please don't mess that up staying with this guy. You better just pack your stuff up, say goodbye to him (forever) and go back home......
You are absolutely being manipulated. This guy is emotionally blackmailing you into doing exactly what he wants. He doesn't love you - he just wants control over you. No matter what he says, no matter what you do, none of this is going to change. He will always find fault in what you do and will make your life difficult and miserable.
You're clearly a very smart girl if you managed to get a place at Oxford. Use that intelligence and do what's right for you. Pack up your stuff, go home, and start over again. It might hurt initially, but please, don't be tempted to go back. Once you leave Paris, it's over. Don't look back. I hope everything works out well for you.
He is absolutely emotionally manipulating you. He is absolutely emotionally and verbally abusing you. Steviej is absolutely right. Leave this cowardly, abusive "man" in your dust.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss
Troll. LOL. No way you got accepted to Oxford (which college?). Unless they mixed up your application with another or you are a legacy, there is no way someone smart enough to be an oxer would give it up for a loser guy.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Why in the world would you give up Oxford to go halfway across the world away from all friends and family to Paris and babysit? One day you will really regret your decision, but by then you'll be married to the douche and have kids. If you stay with this man, you will be a VERY unhappy woman. You are still young, get out of the relationship and enjoy your life. He is older than you and he will always have the upper hand in this relationship. He is the dominant one, you are the submissive one. You moved to Paris for him. He wouldn't stay for you. You gave up your school and dreams for him. He pursued what he wanted for himself. He calls you a slut to your face, you cry and say "Sorry, I love you". The longer you stay, the harder it will to leave him & the worse he will treat you.
Read this article about abusive relationship. I think there are many similarities you are going through.
[url]http://www.livestrong.com/article/100480-four-stages-abusive-relationship/[/url]
Um... how do we get the above person removed from posting?
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss