dating my bestfriend's ex

[lonelygirl123]

My bestfriend just got broken up with last month by her ex. they were together for 2 years off and on. Her ex broke up with her because she was a bad person. While they were together her ex and I became really good friends. We developed a great connection, and a week ago he finally told me he had feelings for me. He is a really great guy, and I really really like him. Normally, I would never ever do this to any of my friends, and I did not mean for it to happen. However, I do not feel that bad right now because my best friend is a really selfish person. She did not treat him well, and has done a lot of bad things to me in the past too. She controls people, and stabs everyone in the back all the time. What I am really scared of is that it will all blow up in my face, and I will end up with noting. I have only stayed her friend throughout the years so I could be invited to things. If she finds out she will turn a lot of people against me, and I will never be invited to anything for a while. I know these concerns seem a little superficial, but you would have to know her to understand where I am coming from. I am wondering if this is worth the risk, and maybe I should end things now before anyone gets hurt. Please someone give me advice!

[malteser]

If she is your best friend then I dread to think about how you talk about your other friends. You should end it with this guy right now.

[lonelygirl123]

Okay yeah that came off really bad, but it is 100 percent true. She says horrible messed up things about me all the time that aren't true and has done worse things than that. I am not a bad person for saying that because she uses me more. Me, her and another girl are all friends and have known each other most of our lives. We fight like sisters, but we only really remain friends because we are just used to it I guess. They both always do bad things to people, and are not really nice. I am not tryin to put myself on a pedastal but I really am not like them at all. (So that is some background info). So you think this is a bad idea to go for him? Oh, I forgot to mention that her ex broke up with her because she is a bad person as well

[malteser]

OK well I know we all fall out with our friends from time to time. From what you've said I would probably ditch the friend and keep the guy! I think friendship should come before romance though, so you need to be selfless and think about your friend in this situation rather than yourself.

[lonelygirl123]

Yeah I do not want to make a mistake of choosing a guy before my friend. I have thought about it a lot and how she might feel. I honestly do not think she cares about him, and a normal person would be more hurt by me. But she is not normal. SHe is extremely selfish and would only be mad because should could not have him anymore. So, she would probably do something really bad to get back at me. She does not care about me as a person at all either, and only really cares about herself. But there is just still some part of me that would not want to lose her as a friend, and thats what I am struggling with. So it is either, being with my friend's ex and face the horrible rath of her vs. staying friends with her and not being cared about by anyone. Either way has a disadvantage.

[valmont]

this is a beautiful insight into women.

it sounds like you need some love in your life.

but this is going to be a rebound relationship for this kid. and if he leaves you have nothing...sounds like your friends make you feel like that anyway

either option you choose is going to blow up in your face somehow...so make a decision and don't look back...enjoy it for what it is.

[MaidenMinx]

Are you still in high school?

If so, enjoy what you can have with him and screw the fall out. I say this because by the sounds of it, it won't be long before you outgrow your so called 'best' friend.

If you are older, you call a girl you only stay friends with so you can go to things your best friend, honey you need to stop and re-evaluate the people you are hanging around with. I know I am not answering your question right now but I really believe there is a bigger issue here and that is you spend time with people that treat you like shit and call them friends and think this is ok and normal. Hon, get some self respect and some new friends.

Oh and on the guy thing if you are older, leave him alone. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

[samwinchesterl]

hey, maybe a half year or a year later, you date with him. it should be better than now.

[bcgirl]

you call her a bestfriend yet you say that you only hang out with her so you get invited to events? BLah.... for you, yes i hope you do go out with her ex boyfriend and get her sloppy seconds. Then he breaks up with you cuz he much rather liked the fiesty, straight up bitchiness of his ex to a wolf in sheep's clothing like you. Then I hope your "best friend" makes the rest of your highschool together a living hell. Social suicide.