When does the guy your dating become your bf?

[vashti]

Hmm... thanks for the clarification, and I understand preferring to see one person at a time, but you would really call someone your *boyfriend* after a single date? Seems like a lot of pressure/expectation to me... I don't think I'd be inclined to date in that case.

[searock]

Hmm... thanks for the clarification, and I understand preferring to see one person at a time, but you would really call someone your *boyfriend* after a single date? Seems like a lot of pressure/expectation to me... I don't think I'd be inclined to date in that case.

I think I haven't explained myself very well, I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that: exclusivity is a given for any couple who is dating regularly, but it does not necessarily imply that said couple are bf-gf. That's a wholly different thing. If I go on a date with someone and I find that I am quite interested in them, and decide to date them again, it's just common "courtesy" from my part to not date somebody else during the same period of time (and I would expect the same from the person I am dating). I wouldn't feel "bound" to them or anything, as I would if they were my bf. It's just common social behavior. I could stop seeing them anytime, and it wouldn't be a break-up or anything, we would just "stop dating", no problem.

Going out with more than one person at a time does happen, but it would be considered hurtful and uncaring, also offensive, unless explicitly discussed and agreed to by all those involved. People here generally date "only" one person at a time, it doesn't mean that they are bf-gf.

To answer the former question of this thread, we generally start calling each other bf-gf once we realize that our feelings are strong and deep enough to last for a reasonably long time. Two people may even date (exclusively) for a few months, before they start considering each other as bf-gf. It's more about emotions than "external" behaviors.

[sadie_genie]

I think I haven't explained myself very well, I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that: exclusivity is a given for any couple who is dating regularly, but it does not necessarily imply that said couple are bf-gf. That's a wholly different thing. If I go on a date with someone and I find that I am quite interested in them, and decide to date them again, it's just common "courtesy" from my part to not date somebody else during the same period of time (and I would expect the same from the person I am dating). I wouldn't feel "bound" to them or anything, as I would if they were my bf. It's just common social behavior. I could stop seeing them anytime, and it wouldn't be a break-up or anything, we would just "stop dating", no problem.

Going out with more than one person at a time does happen, but it would be considered hurtful and uncaring, also offensive, unless explicitly discussed and agreed to by all those involved. People here generally date "only" one person at a time, it doesn't mean that they are bf-gf.

To answer the former question of this thread, we generally start calling each other bf-gf once we realize that our feelings are strong and deep enough to last for a reasonably long time. Two people may even date (exclusively) for a few months, before they start considering each other as bf-gf. It's more about emotions than "external" behaviors.

This seems sort of strange to me. ^^

Usually, I would think being exclusive means being bf/gf and that is because two people develop deeper feelings for each other so things are not just casual.

People are not exclusive or bf/gf until they discuss it.

Anyhow, I am not against the different standards people have. The fact that these standards can vary means people shouldn't assume anything and talk about it in the beginning. So, if someone is dating other people, they should be upfront about it. Or, if they want to be exclusive right away in the beginning, they should bring it up too.

[searock]

sadie_genie, I guess it's just a cultural thing : ). In my country it's common social behavior to not date more than one person at a time. It can happen, but it's just uncommon and it can lead to people getting offended/hurt/thinking you're an asshole. I agree, people should communicate more in order to avoid misunderstandings etc. But in this case, the "strange" thing would be to date more than one person at a time: that, should be discussed at the very beginning. Otherwise it's implicit, by common social behavior.

Which is why, in my country, exclusivity does not imply being bf-gf. Two persons who are regularly dating are generally already exclusive. Otherwise they wouldn't be dating but just "hanging out having fun" or something, but not on actual *dates*, where a certain emotional investment is required.

Being bf-gf is, on the other hand, not implicit at all, and couples do discuss it. It "happens", basically, when two people are in love with one another and see a future together.

[findlove]

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