Ladies...why is this happening?

[valmont]

I've written here about this girl I met in late September...we saw each other for a month before it went south. She told me when we first started talking she didn't want a relationship, I didn't care @ all...wasn't even that into it. Then she began doing relationship type things with me (calling me baby, cooking for me, taking pics in my bed and sending them to me the next day with cute msgs). Anyways...one day she got distant, I called her out on it and she said she was nervous because we were getting too serious.

Talking slowed down drastically after that..we were discussing just being friends and sleeping together and I said I didn't really feel comfortable with that...She said if we didn't sleep with other people it would be too much like a relationship but yet she wouldn't like me sleeping with other girls so she didn't know. Anyways we were supposed to hang out 2 times after that but both times plans got canceled...i over-reacted and blocked her on facebook.

2 weeks later I unblocked her and we had a nice talk. I went out with my friends later that night and posted something like "met the girl of my dreams last night"...next day she deletes me. I asked her why and she said because I was weird...A week later I hit her up and asked her why again and she said she didn't want to see shit about other girls. I told her I was still interested and I wasn't going to stop trying...

I texted her a couple of times...she would give one word answers and then not respond...It really sucked. So I finally decided to forget her for good...deleted her on everything and blocked her.

It's been like 2 more weeks and I still can't get over this friggen girl...It's been almost 2 months since the last time I seen her...I think about her literally everyday...hard to get to sleep some nights cause I'm filled with regret. I know how bad I ****ed up with her...and In all probability...i prob wasn't the only guy she was/is talking to either so either way it sucks..

I guess I'm just trying to figure out wtf is going on with me...why can't I get this girl out of my mind? I never felt this way about a girl in such a short period of time...I just don't get it. Plz any advice?

[bombboy85]

You didn't screw anything up with her, from the sound of it's all on her. She is the one that didn't want to get close and then pushed away yet got angry about you mentioning other girls. You told her you were still interested, the ball was in her court and she screwed it up. Truly you may love who she is but if she acts like that about other girls when y'all aren't even together (because she didn't want to be), odds are if you were together she would become controlling and a hassle really.

[Wakeup]

You can't stop thinking about her because you're addicted to the chemical rush from having sex with her, add the ego crush that you were unable to "conquer" her and bring her down the way you wanted to and you have a codependent addiction that only time, what you do with your time and plain cold turkey, one day at a time withdrawl from your choice of drug known "player girlfriend" and you'll be your old self again. Indifference towards her is the goal.

Make a conscious effort to change any thoughts of her to something else, even like remembering the lyrics to a song, what you had for breakfast last Tuesday, something exciting you have to look forward to and thank your lucky stars that your still not with this girl. If you were with her for any longer, you'd be even more messed up and it would be even harder to rehab from her drama. It's a sign of a healthy self-worth that you didn't settle for her mixed up, manipulative shite. You'd be far worse off had you not had the personal boundaries and had settled to be emotionally abused by the likes of her.

I'll leave you with a few song lyrics from the Rolling Stones:

"You can't always get what you want,
But if you try sometime,
You might just find,
That you get what you need"

You don't need her and once you understand that concept, you'll be free of her.

[bulrush]

She sounds wacko. I don't think it's your fault. Be glad you got rid of her. And the reason you are thinking of her is probably due to hormones, not much more.

[Mathias]

She sounds wacko. I don't think it's your fault. Be glad you got rid of her. And the reason you are thinking of her is probably due to hormones, not much more.

You enable people way too much. He screwed up a ton here.

[searock]

You enable people way too much. He screwed up a ton here.

How did he screw up? He was very clear at the beginning, he wanted to have a relationship with her. It was she who was indecisive and jealous and irrational. And clearly not interested in him. He shouldn't even have unblocked her the first time.

OP, I agree with other posters, you probably keep thinking about her because it was a "failure" from your part, to not be able to figure her out and get her to love you and show you caring and respect. Maybe try thinking about it as it is: you can't control the way other people interact with you. It really wasn't ever within your power to make things go well or not with this girl. She wasn't interested in you since the start - people who are interested in you, really interested, make sure that you are well aware of it. She never did, quite the opposite actually. So just move on, date other girls, it was never up to you.

[rayna]

Oh wow...she was jealous but she had no right to be, because she did not want to be with you in the first place.

You can't stop thinking about her cuz she got away from you while you were still in the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship (when the passion is strongest). She led you on and then disappeared, so you have no closure. You'd love to at least know why...right? Well, I think she was conflicted about how she felt about you. Perhaps a part of her liked the closeness of being with someone...but she didn't like you for you. So she was searching for every possible reason to hate you and exit. That's just my guess.

[smackie9]

She is just playing head games because she isn't getting her way....the reason you can't stop thinking about her is because she is untouchable.....we always desire more what we cannot have. Give it time, you will get over it. She sounds like a total nut job so maybe it was for the best the way things had turned out.

[Love'sReject]

Was she hot?

[valmont]

Lol she was cute...but after I liked her she seemed like gold. She is on Zoloft for anxiety and depression. I know that's a bad sign right there lol. I found out from mutual friends that she's kind of promiscuous. You guys are right...the not knowing bothers me...and her not caring. I'm just so pissed and if I'm not pissed I'm upset (when I think of her)

You know when we were talking on face book in the beginning..she added me...initiated the chat...and after a few msgs she goes...are you going to ask for my number or what? lmao...I liked that...

I've met challenging girls...and I know that there's a way to go about it...but her...I didn't see coming at all (she's good)