Once again...

[Five Miles Out]

Afternoon....

Im new here but having been through two marriages which ended because of my one and only infidelity 20 years ago and my second wifes infidelity 8 years ago....Im not some shrinking violet who has been hiding in a darkened room for the last 6 years.
I am lucky..have my own house..decent job..solvent and my kids stay with me half the week.
Learned to dance two years ago and I love every minute of it...not enough hours in the week for me and to be honest I am really happy in life.
My problem is relationships and what I think I want in the future. I have met some fabulous girls and have have had some good times. I do however get to about 3 months and the fizz just seems to go for me...I have no idea why..some say Im just not ready to commit to one person for the forseeable. From my point of view I thought that perhaps one day I would gladly settle down with someone again..kids are at the Uni/Late school stage but the thought of that does not appeal to me again...I have met someone recently and I thought that "she was the one"....but Im not sure..its not just how I feel about her..its also about the future..it would mean living with her and her kids...my kids are older and in a years time will stay with me whenever they want without any rigid rules...I dont want to come home to someone elses kids..to me the future is my time.....Im not young although people would say 50 is not old..
I hate having to say its over because I feel that its not going anywhere and the thought of upsetting someone by telling them this is not high on my list of things to do. I sometimes think its better staying single and dating.
I would like to think Im not alone in this train of thought..I value my independence..being able to do what I want when I want with whomever I want...the last 5 years have been fantastic for me..I dont need anyone but I enjoy the company of women through dating and dancing.
Yes I admit I am a bit selfish nowadays but life is short....
I would welcome any input...however critical..thats what forums are for...

Best Wishes,

FMO.

[bcgirl]

If you are happier being independent....than be it! The chances of a 3rd marriage working out is something like 10%. You've done the whole marriage thing, you don't plan on having more kids at 50 (i hope). What's the point in marriage again really? Be happy, do what you want to do, go where you want to go and date whom you want to date. Life is too short

[bulrush]

I have a gf and I still have my independence. I can do what I want, but I want to be with her, because she is a nice person, and we get along really well. If you want to do activities without your current gf, maybe she is not such a good match for you. If I wanted to go on a walk by myself, my gf would have no problem with it. But I CHOOSE to take a walk with her because we are truly and great match.

It almost sounds as if your problem is that you haven't found that great match for you yet. Why would you value doing things without your gf if she was such a great match for you?

About that 3 month mark. I am at the 4 month mark and our "passion" or "new relationship energy" is a little faded, but not much, because we are so compatible. Again, there's that compatibility thing. Love is an emotion and it comes and goes, then comes back again. You can help it come back by actions: by trying new things together.

I don't know many women that DON'T want to dance, so you get points for dancing, lots of points.

But most women want a little excitement. They don't want to work all week then be stuck at home for the weekend. What do you think is the problem with your relationships? Is it the "feeling" fades? Do they leave you? Do you leave them? Why do you think that is? Maybe some more details about you and how you approach relationships would help us help you.

[Five Miles Out]

Thanks for that..she was the same age as me....
I approach relationships with an open mind..but the "buzz" seems to leave pretty quickly from a physical point of view. I ended the relationship because it just didn't seem to be going anywhere..I think you need the "buzz" for longer than three months. I think one of the biggest problems is that we end up in bed far too quickly...but dating is completely different nowadays.