Advice on ex-encounter.

[Pontus]

Will try to keep this as brief as possible.

I've got an invitation to a party for a semi-friend of mine.

The problem is, my ex-girlfriend (6 mo. since break-up) and her new boyfriend are certain to attend this party.

This is a problem because the last time I ran into my ex (high school reunion), I turned into an
introverted, grumpy alter ego. I completly ruined my own evening and others by being over-the-top rude and condescending
towards anybody who tried to initiate conversation.

I'm quite confident in most social situations, but this time I felt that I had to value myself towards her.
That led me to being unusally nervous, which in turn led me to being rude and short towards everybody, especially her.
Had a brief conversation with her at this reunion in which she told me that I "had changed" and so on.
My reply was a simple analogy that could be translated to a simple "Stop bothering and f*** off".

I 'happily' admit that I'm not over her, she is exceptionally beautiful and kindhearted and bla bla bla. Just thinking of her
gets me into a dreary state of mind.

Whenever she's not around I can deal with my "broken heart" more easily and be the same easy-going guy I've always been, but when she's around
I turn into this bitter, rude douchebag.

So I guess my question would be if anyone has any advice for me on how to deal with the stress of her being in my immediate surroundings?

[oldskool83]

smile and walk away. u turn into a douchbag because your not over her.

[bulrush]

Try to get over her. If you are not mature enough to go to this party, then don't go. Otherwise you will likely strengthen your reputation as an *ss. And that is hard to shake. There will be other people you can date, so try to think positive. She is just a closed chapter in your life. Just because she wants to be friends with you doesn't mean you have to be friends with her. Better to avoid her to help you get over her.

[Pontus]

Thanks for the replies

@bulrush
Not going is not an option, as there are a few people going there that I very much would like to know better. I would regret not going.

Probably should've been more spesific in my OP.
What I'm looking for is advice on how to overcome this 'distraction' better than I did on the previous occassion.

Our social circles overlap, so this is a situation I might find myself in several times in the future. Better deal with it now instead of going into hiding and accept defeat.

Also, I was a little to harsh on myself in the OP. I was more antisosial than 'bitter douchebag'.

[Pontus]

Oh, and we're in our early twenties, if that's any help.

[steviej]

Awkward situation, thankfully i've never been in that position. I would advise you to not drink to much, as that can lead to trouble in a scenario like this!
Other than that, get doing your best to get to know better the people you mentioned and avoid her as much as you can. Especially avoid that cringeworthy '...and this is dave, my new boyfriend' introduction!

[workingman78]

Simple, ignore her! Just don't give her the time of day, make it clear you have no desire to talk to her or anything, don't be rude about it, just simply state it. Something like this "I am sorry, but I really don't have anything to say to you, I am here to socialize with other people...." should do the trick nicely.

[JJP]

I have been in a very similar situation to you. I was finding that any reference of my X in anyway would put me in a foul mood. I didn't want to just randomly start ignoring her because she meant too much to me. But I knew that I could not get over her whilst having her in my life. So I told her that I won't be talking to her for a while and I don't know how long that will be. I wanted to let her know that it was because of my issues and nothing to do with anything she had done. She respected this and it has helped a lot. I still don't feel comfortable around her, but I can function at least.

[bcgirl]

then don't go to the party. At least you'll know that you won't have a sh*tty night

[surfhb]

Simple, ignore her! Just don't give her the time of day, make it clear you have no desire to talk to her or anything, don't be rude about it, just simply state it. Something like this "I am sorry, but I really don't have anything to say to you, I am here to socialize with other people...." should do the trick nicely.

Oh God no! Talk about sounding like a douche bag

Just put on a award winning act I say. Dont overdo it but when you bump into her, just act like nothing ever happened between you. Smile and move on