I don't know if this is the right place to post this or if anyone will even care but I'm lost, please help.
I met the most amazing person ever at work about five years ago and became friends fast. That friend ship grew and grew into something amazing, I know before I had ever even kissed her that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I had been married previously and it ended terribly, she never really cared and basically are marriage was based on lies and to be honest I didn't put much effort into being a good husband. When my current wife and I finally moved past the friends stage and started a relationship it was bliss. After only five months of dating we got married and then had a the most beautiful baby girl. She always has a son from her pervious marriage and I just love this family I have, I finally feel whole, like nothing is missing. We will have been married for three years this may (hopefully) and we have had are ups and downs. I've made a lot of mistakes, had told a lot of lies and just have made some dumb decisions. I've never cheated or anything like that, just a lot of little things that have piled up over the years. I always try to be the best husband I can be but lately things have gotten bad. She is extremely fed up with all my dumb mistakes, even though they are unintentional. I have a bad habit of saying or doing things without thinking how they might her feel. I try constantly to fix this about myself but I just keep doing dumb things over and over again. She says she's feed up with me and doesn't feel the sane about me anymore and I think she is very close to leaving to me, I can't blame her either. It seems the harder I try the more I mess up, am I trying too hard, is that my problem? Do I have an underlying self-destructive instinct I don't know about? I'm very absent minded and it's not that I don't try hard to be a great husband, I just can't help it, I always screw something up. The thought of losing her kills me, I was in a very dark place before I met her and she was the only person that was able to pull me out. I can't imagine my life without her, how I do I fix this? How do I fix me? I always tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me but she's tired of hearing it, she just wants me to stupid being such an idiot. I really don't know how I would function on a daily basis without her and the kids on my life every single day. Please help....