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Thread: How do I fix my marriage?

  1. #1
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    How do I fix my marriage?

    I don't know if this is the right place to post this or if anyone will even care but I'm lost, please help.

    I met the most amazing person ever at work about five years ago and became friends fast. That friend ship grew and grew into something amazing, I know before I had ever even kissed her that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I had been married previously and it ended terribly, she never really cared and basically are marriage was based on lies and to be honest I didn't put much effort into being a good husband. When my current wife and I finally moved past the friends stage and started a relationship it was bliss. After only five months of dating we got married and then had a the most beautiful baby girl. She always has a son from her pervious marriage and I just love this family I have, I finally feel whole, like nothing is missing. We will have been married for three years this may (hopefully) and we have had are ups and downs. I've made a lot of mistakes, had told a lot of lies and just have made some dumb decisions. I've never cheated or anything like that, just a lot of little things that have piled up over the years. I always try to be the best husband I can be but lately things have gotten bad. She is extremely fed up with all my dumb mistakes, even though they are unintentional. I have a bad habit of saying or doing things without thinking how they might her feel. I try constantly to fix this about myself but I just keep doing dumb things over and over again. She says she's feed up with me and doesn't feel the sane about me anymore and I think she is very close to leaving to me, I can't blame her either. It seems the harder I try the more I mess up, am I trying too hard, is that my problem? Do I have an underlying self-destructive instinct I don't know about? I'm very absent minded and it's not that I don't try hard to be a great husband, I just can't help it, I always screw something up. The thought of losing her kills me, I was in a very dark place before I met her and she was the only person that was able to pull me out. I can't imagine my life without her, how I do I fix this? How do I fix me? I always tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me but she's tired of hearing it, she just wants me to stupid being such an idiot. I really don't know how I would function on a daily basis without her and the kids on my life every single day. Please help....

  2. #2
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    We need more details to help. Like what you're doing that is causing problems. You're being too vague, I don't have a picture of what's really going on.

  3. #3
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    To me they are just little things but they hurt her. I can be grumpy sometimes and reply to her the wrong way when frustrtated. She's a neat freak and I can be messy and get caught up in what I'm doing and forget to clean up. I have a big problem on getting focused on one thing and forgetting to do others things I said I do. Like I said, I'm not cheating, or drinking too much, or anything like that. Just little things that wouldn't be a big deal but I just keep messing up constantly. Now I feel this pressure to stop but it just seems like that makes it worse. I have mild PTSD due to a deployment to Iraq, I don't think it effects me that much but maybe it worse than I think. I just want to make her happy

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    I wish I could explain better but half the time I don't even understand. I feel like the biggest **** up in the world.

  5. #5
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    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    You sound like an earnest young man. Pretty normal stuff for husbands. She needs to relax and appreciate you. You probably, like most males, need to listen a bit better.

    Here, read this, it will help. Show it to your wife also.

    [url]http://www.songtime.com/sbc/sbcfivestagesofmarriage.htm[/url]
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  6. #6
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    why not take her out on a date. Hire a babysitter for the night and do something romantic for her. Buy her flowers etc. bring her on a nice fancy dinner...do something out of the ordinary and then have great passionate sex with candles....but remember, performing oral pleasure on her is key.

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