Feeling rather insecure lately?

[Togoru]

I'm 19 and my boyfriend will be 18 soon.

The other day a friend of my boyfriend's family was over with her kids. They've been friends of my boyfriend's family for years and years so they basically grew up together but only see each other once or twice a year.

One of her kids was a girl who was 16 and the whole day my boyfriend was sweet and cute with me and would occasionally talk to this girl but general conversation things nothing like flirty. Although when it came to a subject of something he liked, like a movie that was coming out, he would get excited and super happy and have a huge smile when talking with her about something he liked. But I didn't take it as much of anything.

1) But here's the thing, and where I am confused. When they were leaving she was bending over to put on her boots. And it wasn't like her ass was directly facing him and not even super close to him but I looked over at his face and I don't know if it was me being paranoid or making it more than it was but it seemed like he was looking at her for a few seconds with big eyes and his mouth sort of open. And that's the sort of face he does to me when I bend over to pick something up or do something "sexy". I know my boyfriend loves butts too, it's his favorite body part. But the way the girl was putting her boots on you couldn't see her butt but she was still bent over. And the expression he made, I don't know if that's what I saw or if I just believed it's what I saw since the whole night I was a little uncomfortable or wondering if something would happen like that at times.

I know my boyfriend loves me. It's just he's openly checked out women in the past when I was around, but nothing in person like real people, mostly crap on TV or posters like at Victoria's Secret. Which I told him before how I felt about him checking out women when I am around and how it makes me feel. But here's what always makes me wonder and makes me always feel like I worry about stuff like this and question my own security in the relationship sometimes. Because he told me once how he'd always love checking out other women. Which yeah I'll always love checking out other guys too but not so blatantly around my boyfriend and I wouldn't announce how I will. And just the fact that he's called me insecure before. It makes me feel afraid to tell him how I really feel because I don't want to be called that again. Especially since this time I am not sure if he was actually checking her out or not. I'd be afraid to bring it up and have him tell me "I wasn't, youre being insecure again". I don't know what to do :/. It bothers me that he might have looked at her when I was standing right there but then I don't know if he was actually checking her out or not. I don't know if I should bring it up or let it go.

2) But also here's another thing. My boyfriend is usually super flirty with me and touches my butt and things like that. And the way he looks at me too as if he's interested he just seems horny and physical with me. I know he loves me but sometimes with how "sexual" he acts towards me how would I know he wouldn't ever be tempted to flirt or be that way with another girl? Especially since he said to me "I'll always love looking at other women" it just makes me wonder now... He says he'd never cheat. I feel like I am worrying too much. Any reassurance or advice for this as well?

I don't know why lately I've been so basically obsessed with all this or worrying. Advice on both parts is appreciated.

[surfhb]

Yeah....you're being insecure. However, he needs to be aware that sometimes his behavior is disrespecting you and He must also change theway he acts if its upsetting to you. Women who understand men know we are Hard wired to notice things like asses and tits. A mature man won't make a big deal of it but YOU CAN BET we notice and we look.....this will not change.

But the issue here is that he's just 17. He's not an adult so I wouldn't expect adult behavior from a child.

[bulrush]

Which I told him before how I felt about him checking out women when I am around and how it makes me feel.
But here's what always makes me wonder and makes me always feel like I worry about stuff like this and question my own security in the relationship sometimes.

It sounds like 2 things are going on here. 1. He is being disrespectful about being so obvious about looking at other women. 2. You sound a bit insecure and you might benefit from some reassurance from him.

I know he loves me but sometimes with how "sexual" he acts towards me how would I know he wouldn't ever be tempted to flirt or be that way with another girl?

You never can tell, which is why you spend more time with him, get to know him, and you have to decide if you can trust him or not based on facts you see. Plus, young guys are always very sexual, that's their hormones talking. That's what they do.

[bcgirl]

He most likely was staring at her butt. Most straight guys can't help but take a glimpse if they see a hot azz or boobies. It's like if we saw a hot man, we'd also take a look. Or we can appreciate a girl with a gorgeous face and body. Humans are wired to be attracted to beautiful things whether it's people, animals, a scene etc. It's how discrete you are about it that matters. Discreteness is what shows respect for the other person. As a woman (most would say attractive) I get all kinds of "check outs" from the opposite sex while they are with girlfriends. Most make it discrete....you walk by, they are holding their gf's hand and they just glimpse up and down for a split second. Then there are those that have the nerve to make a turn around to get a second glimpse. I've had guys disrespect their women so much to even lick their lips towards me. There are a lot of different types of people in this world....the most important thing is how your boyfriend treats you overall.