Hello,
I had sex for the first time with my girlfriend yesterday, we both lost our virginity then (both 21). It was kind of nice and really fun on the emotional level.. But on the physical side, I was so shocked that I hardly felt anything? I once already was under the impression that it was kind of hard for me to feel good, but not to this extend! For that reason, since about 3 months ago, I started to only masturbate on weekends. The feeling did indeed increase slowly and it made it easier to feel good. It might also be a factor, but since we didn't really plan when it would happen, I just masturbated two days ago, but not until orgrasm; that I did a week ago.
About how it felt for me.. We did have a lot of foreplay, then we decided to have a go, because she's been taking the pill long enough for it to take effect now. We did not use a condom, so that's a possible reason less. So we started and I slowly tried to enter.. a bit later I wondered whether I was inside now or not, and I actually had to concentrate to try to feel if I was or not. I finally knew I indeed was. A bit confused, I thought well ok, I just started and I'm not moving, so maybe I wouldn't feel much. I guess I was wrong. I tried a few different positions and she was actually feeling really good.
But I lasted, lasted, and lasted for half and hour and longer, maybe it even was an hour, until we stopped. I kind of felt nothing. It was.. warm, wet, yeah.. I wasn't even close to feeling like I was doing something sexual. No "tingling" sensation (I guess you know what I mean), let alone orgasm. I'm frustrated.. Everything else was really nice and I don't regret it or anything.
I think she didn't really notice that I didn't feel a lot, as I somehow managed to stay kind of hard, despite not feeling much. Though my erection went away two times, even while inside her, I managed to get it back by concentrating.
Also, I can assure you that it is not her fault, or that I don't love her or something similar. It was incredible on the emotional level. And she's not loose, I was not able to go inside when I got a bit soft.
And I am definitely turned on by her; I immediately get an erection when we're close together and it stays most of the time.
Another thing I have to mention though, she was not able to make me orgasm with other means either (we've been initmate for a bit longer, just no sex until now). There was only one time where she could, but that was when I started it off myself and let her finish. I guess this is still a cause from masturbating, that it only works a certain way etc.. I already do it a lot less, but now I'm so frustrated that I'll try to keep myself from even touching until I'll start to feel something with her.. hope I won't go crazy.
A last thing, which most likely is a reason (but having a different cause I don't get) for all this. I'm uncircumcised (no not this, please don't get circumcised if you don't really need to, nature has it's meaning), and I have always been masturbating without pulling back the foreskin. I do/did have a light case of phimosis, but I can pull it back without problems now. It just hurts a bit if I have it back and am extremly hard. It didn't hurt at all during sex. Anyway, what I wanted to say is, I can masturbate without pulling it back fine; but if I directly touch the head without the foreskin, it's totally uncomfortable kind of hurts. This though confuses me even more, since it means that I'm actually very far from feeling nothing. Oil etc. does not help, it's still very uncomfortable. A lot of saliva can make it feel kind of good though. But, I was never really able to feel aroused with the foreskin pulled back, even without directly touching the head. If I masturbate almost until orgasm, then pull back the foreskin - bam all feeling gone and I have to restart. I've always wondered how anyone could masturbate with an exposed glans, maybe the circumcised guys, yes, but there seem to be many uncircumcised too who do it like that.
So I came to think that I'm somehow unable to feel good with my foreskin pulled back. It wasn't surprising until now, because touching the head hurt. But the sex didn't hurt at all, and I didn't feel anything, even thought it's normally totally sensitive. I don't really get it. There are those reasons that somehow make sense, but they don't really fit together. I'm confused and frustrated..
Maybe this is something I should take to the doctor? I'd have a very hard time with this though..
Or could it be normal and I need to get used to sex until it feels good? I knew it was like this for many woman, but men?
Or it's all because I'm nervous and worrying I won't get up etc.. , but I didn't feel nervous at all; I may worry a bit, but not too much either, I think.
Well.. any help appreciated.