In love with a stranger:how to meet...

[deathper]

How can someone be sure if a woman is flirting or just being friendly? I don't think that there is a "recipe"... I think that my perception is the same with her, as I clearly got her message and didn't bother her again, so I don't try to get a thing by her...My intentions were different from her ones, so I respect that...I would never end up begging (begging couldn't change a situation, it's just woeful)...

Maybe you are right about me being obssessed...But I have never done this before...My experience is limited up to three girls, none of whom I was the one to approach; I was rather approached by them...In the first case we ended up having sex for three years, but not in a relationship (she was in love with me, I was not), the second case leaded to a single night sex and the last one is still open for 6 months and is similar to the first one (and I am not in love as well)...So, saying that I was just looking at a girl and just hoping is not true...

So, when I said that there are no girls that I know and with who I want to get in a relationship, I meant it (in any case a pretty face does matter).

Trying to know a girl and also get known by her, requires being given an opportunity. And going on dates means that you have in mind a person in whom you are interested and you like her... Being on the same page with that person is a must but is not always enough for a relationship...

[smackie9]

Sounds to me you need to invest your time more wisely. No Wasting time on "maybes" or "not really what I want". You get better results being confident and being the one to make the approach. You will increase your chances by 100%. Next time don't wait months or even weeks to ask a girl out. The trick is to give them 2 chances to say yes....if not bail. Some say no, some give excuses, some avoid, some pacify.....it don't matter....2 times and they should be chalked up as "nope".


As for being on the same page....that is only a small small portion for a requirement....it's a starting point. That is why it's so important to hold off on your feelings until you see expectations are being fulfilled.

[deathper]

What you write is accurate and your approach is quite dynamic. Although, I have two basic objections on the above; the first one is that I take a "no" (in any of it's "forms") as personal rejection and that decreases my self-confidence; the other one is that I don't have such a big target group so as I can try many times and say "ah, it's ok, this time it went wrong, let's move forward and try again"... I don't meet women in whom I'm interested for a relationship everyday, so each try counts more...And actually I got no way in meeting many new women, these ones that I really like...

As for the feeling control, you are absolutely right...I had never though about it...

[smackie9]

Try online dating if the dating pool is thin where you are.

Second, rejection is a normal part of life so you better learn to suck it up. You can't take someone saying "no" too personally. Remember you need to keep those feelings in check. Controlling it will elevate some of that fear and the decrease of your self-confidence when rejected. Just let it roll off your back as the saying goes.

[deathper]

You are right...I should try dating new persons...Something last on the initial topic. Do you think that meeting (just for the meeting, nothing more, honestly) that girl is impossible and I should never propose it again?

[smackie9]

Remember what I posted before......you only give them 2 chances, if it doesn't happen, then quit. She agreed twice or was it 3 times to meet you and nothing came of it....I'd say that's a "nope".

[deathper]

Ok, you're right! When you mentioned online dating, did you mean just facebook of there is another way too?

[smackie9]

FB is for networking with people you already know....most don't like responding to a stranger. I mean an actual dating site, where you can read peoples profiles. There are different categories like, casual, serious relationship, just looking for sex, marriage,etc.

[deathper]

I don't much trust this kind of sites...I'm seeking for some way to meet new women in reality (although I know many, it doesn't happen to meet the ones I like)

[smackie9]

Try speed dating then, or find a singles club.

[smackie9]

You have to meet and date several before you find ones you like silly, that's how it is.....it's like finding a needle in a hay stack for everyone. Your expectations are what is really ruining any chance you may have....you need to change your additude.

[deathper]

hello! she answered to my message today, sending her number and apologizing for the long time it took... and I hadn't sent her another message since the last time...she also asked for some help with an issue...

[smackie9]

hello! she answered to my message today, sending her number and apologizing for the long time it took... and I hadn't sent her another message since the last time...she also asked for some help with an issue...

Don't read into this like she wants to date you.....if the issue is something like "Can you help me fix my computer?" or "I need some help moving" you are friend zoned.

[deathper]

Friend zone is either ok... I know that dating is not possible any more, but friendship would also be important...I hope it's gonna happen...

[smackie9]

Hey friendship is fine as long as you don't get taken for granted.