Is it too irrational to ask my boyfriend to?

[smackie9]

She's looking for that "new relationship" feeling again....so by him making a change will refresh the relationship.

[HeartIsAching]

My, aren't we controlling?

Want him to change something about his body to suit you? Getting ticked because he doesn't want to? How'd you feel if he told you he wanted you to lose 20 lbs? That's just a small change, right? Just a little effort?

If you asked, and he doesn't want to, drop it. If you can't live with it, find a guy with shorter hair. End of story.

[bcgirl]

did he have long hair when you met him? If so....why do you want to change him after you've made yourself comfortable being his girlfriend? I'm sure your boyfriend likes the "au natural" look sometimes and could do with a few less tattoos, piercings and jet black dyed hair. Imagine if he told you that..... i bet all hell would break loose.

[smackie9]

Change can be a good thing.....within reason

[P.A.T.G.O.D.]

There's a difference between soliciting his opinion of your style and trying to force a change on his style without being asked by him for your input.

The way you keep saying "I wouldn't MAKE him change his hair..." presupposes that you feel you have the power to "make" him do anything.

Let's assume for a minute that it's somehow OK for people to demand that someone else change their physical appearance to suit their own purposes. Wouldn't that make it OK for husbands to demand that their wives lose weight or get boob jobs? Or for wives to insist that their husbands buy Rogaine and shave their backs?

It is NOT OK for you to continue to badger him about his hair. If he doesn't want to change it, then your choices are 1) accept it and move on 2) dump him because you don't like his hair.

If you're not going to go with #2, then don't ever mention his hair again. You don't get to dictate someone else's appearance and they don't get to dictate yours. If you decide to ask him his opinion and then change your own appearance, that doesn't create an obligation for him to do the same thing.

[Twiz]

I wasn't trying to dictate how he looks. It was a suggestion though. And when he suggests things to me I do them for him.

[Mathias]

She's looking for that "new relationship" feeling again....so by him making a change will refresh the relationship.

That won't actually work.

[bulrush]

It all depends on the person. I used to be in a place where I didn't want my gf choosing my clothes or hair style. Now I welcome their opinion. He's just not ready to change his hair yet. It's not your fault. I mean, is this really a deal breaker?

[bulrush]

She's looking for that "new relationship" feeling again....so by him making a change will refresh the relationship.

I disagree. She said it's about physical attraction earlier in this thread. Physical attraction is important to some people. It doesn't make her shallow to know that she needs physical attraction.

[smackie9]

That won't actually work.

It will refresh her view of him, like a new BF. Some guys have told me that when their GF changes their looks or hair color they say it's like they are dating someone new. So ya it can to some degree for some people. There have be articles and surveys that points to the fact that change is part of keeping things fresh in a relationship, not just looks of course, but also trying new things, or bring in a new interest. People get bored so change is good.

[smackie9]

I disagree. She said it's about physical attraction earlier in this thread. Physical attraction is important to some people. It doesn't make her shallow to know that she needs physical attraction.

I just made a suggestion, not a fact that is all. Renewed physical attraction is renewed desire IMO. Just an opinion to throw into the convo.

[smackie9]

I wasn't trying to dictate how he looks. It was a suggestion though. And when he suggests things to me I do them for him.

I see where you are coming from. In a relationship you expect each other to bend a little. Why not make a compromise and instead of making him cut it, style it for him. Let it be some one on one time......give him a nice head massage while you are shampooing his hair....some good old head sex.

[P.A.T.G.O.D.]

"I wasn't trying to dictate how he looks. It was a suggestion though. And when he suggests things to me I do them for him."

If it was just a suggestion and he said no, then you would drop it. You haven't. And you still don't seem to grasp that just because you ask for and get his opinion and act on it, it doesn't set up an obligation for him to do the same. You asked his oinion because you wanted it. He obviously doesn't want yours. So leave it alone.

[bcgirl]

no offence, but if i were your boyfriend....i would tell you to go easy on the jet black box dye.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't suppose you have offered steamy sex every night for a month straight? I bet there are men who would shave themselves bald for that.