a question for you guys

[VincenzoG91]

Or he'll get bored and think you're some frigid virgin who doesn't fancy him.

Okay, you got me there. As a guy, I still think that the third date rule is a good idea. But I suppose a lot of guys can feign interest for at least that long, so a woman who is looking for a serious relationship might want to hold out for longer than three dates. Unless she is dating me, in which case I think we should head for bed by the third date.

[vashti]

Uh, people who are realistic.

Oh, please. What people WANT, and what they will SETTLE FOR are two different things, obviously.

Unless she is dating me, in which case I think we should head for bed by the third date.

I had never heard of the 3rd date rule until you guys started tossing the term around this forum. It makes me very sad for young girls.

[Bonfire]

I had never heard of the 3rd date rule until you guys started tossing the term around this forum. It makes me very sad for young girls.

Young girls today are giving it up without even a date. It's happening regularly at parties and clubs. They are the generation of "friends with benefits" and "hookups".

[Wakeup]

Young girls today are giving it up without even a date. It's happening regularly at parties and clubs. They are the generation of "friends with benefits" and "hookups".

There has ALWAYS been some young girls that gave it up without even a date. Then there are the one's who didn't and found themselves respected, committed to and/or marrried with. No?

[Incognito]

I had never heard of the 3rd date rule until you guys started tossing the term around this forum. It makes me very sad for young girls.

I too think it is sad when waiting until the third date is considered "holding out" and is supposed to be some kind of litmus for determining if a guy is interested in more than just sex.

[Incognito]

You're both wrong. I have a lot of self-respect and a healthy outlook in relationships. When I sense a guy is a jerk and my gut tells me something's not right, I get out. I don't allow myself to be played or treated like crap.
As for "compromising", I also don't agree. I've been with a guy before who "ticked all my boxes" in that, to me, he was the perfect guy- I was attracted to him, he was sweet and respectful to me, and our relationship was overall a great one until things had to end. I don't get why people say you have to "settle", it's not like I'm 50 and lonely. I'm also not delusional or being unfair as in I know I have a lot going for me as well...it's not only about what HE will do for me, but what I bring to the table as well. Trust me, I know.
When I say I need to be attracted to a guy and feel chemistry, people automatically assume he was to be a perfect 10 in terms of looks...and that's not it...he has to be attractive TO ME.
Another question in regards to your first comment....would you really want to be with a girl who was only with you because you were "sweet, nice, respectul", but had absolute no attraction towards you at all? I know I wouldn't!

Ok, you seem to have some self respect. Good. However you still paint yourself to be a fairly young and inexperienced woman, which isn't an insult by the way. The thing is that nothing and no one is perfect.

You mentioned that you were with a guy who ticked all of your boxes? Well why did the relationship end? Also, when people say settle it shouldn't have such a negative connotation. Sometimes you find someone great who has a few things that you don't like, and you work together to either change those things over time or learn to live with them. You make it sound as though you will only accept perfection because you found it [once], keeping in mind that relationship ended.

At any rate this thread was originally about why men can have emotionally unattached sex. It's not just a male issue, as more and more women do this themselves, but but takes place because men and women are fundamentally different. Men deal mainly in the physical/practical and women mainly in the emotional. I'm sure there are other who would point to subconscious biological imperatives as well.