Are girls expected to do stuff for valentines day?

**kinks** · 12-02-12, 11:37 PM

Been in a relationship for a bit over a year... anyway, last year was when we had our first kiss (day before valentine's day) and the next day he left me a handmade card in locker at work... I wasn't expecting anything, and didn't do anything myself.

So, this year I'm not really planning anything either... But wondering if I should? Do girls usually do anything?

Also, this is me: [url]http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1917886[/url]
(At the moment I'm the one who does all the nice stuff, planning stuff to do, getting us gig tickets, wearing hot underwear, going for meals etc. so I've been trying to tone it down a little...)

**pisces25** · 13-02-12, 07:15 AM

I'm quite sure V-day is reciprocal. That link didn't work. Why are you posting a photo of yourself?

**zertaag** · 13-02-12, 07:17 AM

Unless you have both explicitly stated that there will be no gift/card exchange (as my partner and I have) then you should at the very least get him a card.

It's not about if girls "do anything" for Valentine's day, it's about showing your partner that you appreciate and love him for everything he does for you.

**HeartIsAching** · 13-02-12, 07:57 AM

No more than guys are expected to.

In past relationships, I've made it clear that I do not participate in the Hallmark Holiday, nor do I expect anything in return. My current situation is different... I got my wife a card, a coffee cup that was filled with candy and had hearts on it with "Will You Be Mine?" on it also. I don't know if she got me anything, I'd be happy with a card or with nothing at all except an "I love you" from her... but I get that every day.

See, my wife shows me in many, many ways every single day that she loves me, I don't need a special day to know that, nor does she.

It's a big deal (for my wife) that I do anything for her, because she knows that in the past I did not and would not. I do it now because I want to, not because she (or anybody else) wants me to.

**greentea11** · 13-02-12, 08:17 AM

I think you should get at least a card. If he gave you one last year, he will this year. Even though you do things for him, he might feel a tad sad if you dont do anything and he does. Make a funny card or get a cupcake. Doesn't have to be too much.

**kinks** · 13-02-12, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by pisces25

I'm quite sure V-day is reciprocal. That link didn't work. Why are you posting a photo of yourself?

It wasn't a photo! It's a thread I made on another forum about how lately he seems to have been a little bit distant because we had a talk about how he avoids going to the place hi ex lives with me because he says it still hurts and is awkward. So this is why maybe I should start backing off a little to give him some space. Also I'm the one in the relationship who puts in all the effort all the time

**Mathias** · 13-02-12, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching

No more than guys are expected to.

In past relationships, I've made it clear that I do not participate in the Hallmark Holiday, nor do I expect anything in return. My current situation is different... I got my wife a card, a coffee cup that was filled with candy and had hearts on it with "Will You Be Mine?" on it also. I don't know if she got me anything, I'd be happy with a card or with nothing at all except an "I love you" from her... but I get that every day.

See, my wife shows me in many, many ways every single day that she loves me, I don't need a special day to know that, nor does she.

It's a big deal (for my wife) that I do anything for her, because she knows that in the past I did not and would not. I do it now because I want to, not because she (or anybody else) wants me to.

Enough already.

**Twiz** · 14-02-12, 05:43 AM

It's not expected. You personally don't have to do anything. Though if he gave you a card last year, and would potentially give you a card this year, then he could possibly be bummed out if you didn't. But some people don't mind if they don't receive anything in return. It's just something nice you could do. I usually get my boyfriend a card and some chocolates.

**dem862** · 14-02-12, 06:04 AM

A card and chocolates is traditional.

**MaidenMinx** · 14-02-12, 06:18 AM

Hubby and I discussed not doing anything today because we are too broke at the moment (saving for 2 concerts at the end of the month). This morning I got a text with a picture of the I choo- choo- choose you card from the simpsons. To reciprocate I found an image of Yoda with Yoda one for me written above it.

It doesn't have to be much, just enough to show you're thinking of them.

**kinks** · 15-02-12, 04:59 AM

I posted him a little voucher I made him, saying Good for 1 X with lots of little inside jokes...

I got to work and saw he's left me an orange with a heart drawn on and a folded A4 paper with a quick valentines scrawl... I couldn't help but be upset on the train home watching girls with their flowers and underwear bags and all sorts of other gift bags... I actually cried loads when I got home, feeling like complete **** because I realised after going out for a year and a half, yes I would like to be noticed a little by my own boyfriend. I don't ask him to buy me things, I buy lots of things for us to go out together. He could do little free things to show he cared. But he doesn't. A quick few texts at night which he always cuts short. And now I don't have the balls to call him on V day to tell him. I know I'm not overreacting, my friend who's been going out with her bf for a lot less than a year got loooads from her bf... Ugh. And there are men out there who give me so much more attention than he does but all I want is for him to treat me like I see other guys treat their girls. He called me needy the other day. But it isn't ****ing needy to want some attention from the guy you love. Feel crap. Going to sleep.

**pisces25** · 15-02-12, 05:21 AM

What are the things he does that you do like? In other words, what are the reasons you are with him?

**kinks** · 15-02-12, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by pisces25

What are the things he does that you do like? In other words, what are the reasons you are with him?

He used to be amazing. He was my first EVERYTHING. We took things really slow. He made me feel special. I don't know anymore, lately I feel I'm too chicken to break it off. I just miss how things were, but I don't think he'll go back to being like that

**pisces25** · 15-02-12, 06:02 AM

You need to tell him how you feel. Maybe he has just gotten lazy. If he doesn't take on board how you feel and make more of an effort then you probably need to consider if you do want to be with him. At least give him the chance though. You can't just expect him to read your mind. Yes it would be nice for guys to do things without asking but the reality is different, they often need a prod. And without proper communication the relationship already has one foot in the grave.

sadie_genie · 15-02-12, 08:13 AM

If I were you, I would just dump his ass and then go to a singles vday party to meet some new guys.

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