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Thread: Is it too irrational to ask my boyfriend to?

  1. #31
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    I think the jet black hair works for the OP. Just my opinion.

    I think I should comment on physical attraction again. If looks are the ONLY thing you like about the person, you can have fun with a short relationship, but it probably won't last. You need some more types of attraction for it to last. But looks are ONE part of the equation and it's not unreasonable to ask someone to take care of themselves. I think most of us older people on this forum assume the poster wants a long-term thing so we give advice which will support a long-term relationship. But that isn't always true.

    For me, I prefer a slimmer woman. I am not attracted to an obese woman who might die in her 50s from diabetes or a heart attack. Why should I put energy into a relationship (or fall in love) with someone who is likely to die much earlier than me? Does that make sense?
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  2. #32
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    What if he "suggested" you lose 10 pounds, because you look chubby naked? It's just a suggestion, right? What if he "suggested" you wear sexy clothes all the time, because you look frumpy and unattractive in sweatpants? What if he "suggested" that he wants to sleep with another woman, because you just aren't cutting it anymore?

    I think you get the point. And yes, the above examples are exactly the same thing as what you are asking of him.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    I don't suppose you have offered steamy sex every night for a month straight? I bet there are men who would shave themselves bald for that.
    I wouldn't bribe him, suggest it yes, but no begging or bribery. Though, I'd enjoy that offer as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by HDBadger View Post
    What if he "suggested" you lose 10 pounds, because you look chubby naked? It's just a suggestion, right? What if he "suggested" you wear sexy clothes all the time, because you look frumpy and unattractive in sweatpants? What if he "suggested" that he wants to sleep with another woman, because you just aren't cutting it anymore?

    I think you get the point. And yes, the above examples are exactly the same thing as what you are asking of him.
    LOL, ok, sure.
    I'm not superficial, I love him regardless. There's certain things I find attractive and so does he. There's things he likes that he's suggested to me that I've done for him. So what's so bad about mentioning a hair style you like to a partner? It's his hair, he has it how he wants it which I am fine with. My basis was just wondering if it's such a bad thing to bring up/ask to suggest a certain hairstyle to your boyfriend.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twiz View Post
    I wouldn't bribe him, suggest it yes, but no begging or bribery. Though, I'd enjoy that offer as well.
    What's wrong with bribing him? He gets his and you get yours. Sounds like win-win to me.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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