I'll try and keep this as organized and non rambly as possible.
Who's involved?
Me:
24 Year Old Male
Multiple prior relationships. Two of which were fairly serious.
Her:
22 Year Old Female
Multiple prior relationships. Two of which were fairly serious as well lol.
Last relationship ended May 2011 after 3 years. She had moved across the country to be with him, but moved back home after she dumped him.
History/Background.
We met in August of 2011 and since then have not gone more than two days without seeing each other, and not more than 12 hours without texting/calling. Our first real date (we had met for coffee the day earlier) was with some mutual friends and instead of talking to the group, we ended up sitting alone together at the bar having amazing conversations. We talked from 10 pm to until the bar closed at 2 AM. I don't think there was ever any silence or awkwardness. We were so comfortable with each other that she ended up spending the night at my apartment where we ended up having sex. The next night she came over to my place to watch a movie since we were both tired from staying up so late the night before. We were a bit less talkative because we were tired, but we still were very comfortable with each other and she fell asleep in my arms for the rest of the night.
Like I said. I see her almost every day and we have a lot of fun together. We talk about anything and everything.
....so what's the problem? Why am I posting?
WTH is going on?
That second night at my place was the last time either of us were at each other's place and it is also kind of the last time we were even intimately alone. After having sex the second time we had ever even seen each other we have not done it again in the 7 months since. No sleepovers, no movie watching cuddled on the couch, no makeout sessions, etc. I ask if she wants to come over to watch a movie or do anything else just the two of us constantly. She almost always has an excuse ready to go.
However, I do see and talk to her constantly. I go out with her pretty much every night and we have a lot of fun. Bars, clubs, restaurants, road trips, parks, zoos, etc. What's the catch? She always always always brings at least one other person. 90% of the time this person is her 19 year old sister. Other times it's her friends. So every night I end up in a car with 2-4 girls. One of which I have a massive crush on. And it's not that I don't like the other people, I actually really like them as friends. They just get in the way.
When we're all out, the girl I'm interested in tends to pay more attention to her sister and friends than me. She walks next to them instead of me, talks about gossip and inside jokes with them that I don't know, hugs and touches them a lot while pretty much never touching me, and more than once she has walked right past me and sat on the couch next to her friends even though I'm on a Love Seat with an open seat right next to me. Needless to say this kinda starts hurting after awhile.
There is one place that I get alone time with her. Every night when it's time to go home we drop everyone off and always save her for last. We almost always sit in her driveway in my car talking and listening to music. Anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours with an average of about 90 minutes. Needless to say I love this time. We talk about anything and everything, including pretty private feelings and thoughts. She's talked about the passing of her mom and broken down in tears and then I'd rub her back and she would seem more than fine with it.
We also talk about our relationship a lot as well. I have made it very very clear that I want to be with her. From the beginning she has told me that she just isn't ready yet due to the problems with her most recent relationship. However, when I ask if she likes me as more than a friend and if she is attracted to me she always says definitely. An emphatic "Yes.". I have also asked her if she sees us being together in the future when she is ready to be in a relationship again and she again says yes. We're pretty close and very comfortable around each other. We also always hug and kiss when leaving each other.
We're as close to being in a relationship as you can get...but for some reason I cannot seem to get her to really show that she cares for me like she says she does.
Quick Facts
-She almost never initiates physical contact. She has never run up and hugged me, never puts her head on my shoulder, never holds my hand, never cuddles up when she's cold, etc. However, when I initiate a goodnight kiss or a hug she is always pretty receptive. Never once trying to get out of it.
-The really weird thing is that she is very physical with her sister and friends. She hugs them, tickles them, plays with their hair, and even cuddles in the backseat of my car with them. It's like a cruel joke. I want nothing more than to hold that girl in my arms and here I have to watch her cuddling with her 19 year old sister and/or friend.
-Whenever I invite her to go somewhere, she tends to wait until I'm just about ready to come pick her up and then she will ask if her sister can come with. I'm not going to be a jerk and say no, so I say yes and we have another night of me driving them around while I watch with envy. It's nothing sexual at all, just close sister stuff, but it's very aggravating that I can't even get a hand hold. Sometimes she won't even ask if she can come, I'll just get there and they'll both get in the car. The only alone time I get with her is in my car sitting in her driveway at the end of the night. An hour or two that I've grown to really enjoy since we're never awkward and conversation comes easy.
-She insists that she really likes me and sees us being together in the near future. At one point she even said she was feeling ready for a relationship again.....that was 3 months ago. I've told her my concerns about her rarely showing any signs of interest in me other than when I initiate. She just says it's not true and that she does really like me and that she wouldn't hang out every single day for months and months if she didn't like me. I've also told her that if she ever realizes that she never wants to be with that she must tell me immediately to keep me from being strung along and hurt. She said she would if she ever felt that way, but so far has not.
I rambled a bit, but I am so lost and confused beyond belief. I have never met someone I liked as much as her. Nor have I met another girl where I feel completely comfortable in talking and being with. What is the problem? I do a ton of favors and other things for her because I enjoy seeing her smile, so it's not like I'm in it for the wrong reasons. I truly care about her and she knows that.
What is she thinking? Does she think I'm not good enough? Someone clue me in because I've never had this issue before.
Thanks