Need a chuckle? Come on in...

[Benni]

That would work!

[Benni]

Never fake it ....

[Benni]

**good giggle**

[asdfg789]

Here is my contribution :

After being married for 50 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, and K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His left eye is still swollen, but the doctor has informed him that he is likely to see things much clearer in the future.

[Mathias]

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

[Benni]

Hahahahaha! To both!

[asdfg789]

@Benni

not sure if its just me but the images of jokes you posted are now replaced by "this image or video has been moved or deleted"

):

[Benni]

I know! And I'm sooo pissed! I renamed my photo folder on PhotoBucket and it says I 'moved' my previous pics and it can't show them. So sorry for all the blank spots!! There's no way to go through and edit them with the correct link!

[Benni]

That explains it.

[Sonrisa]

this is kinda long and will be translated from Russian:

A woman's diary:

First day:
Packed my bags and got ready for a swim.
Packed make-up and all my best clothing.
Can't wait.

Second day:
Whole day at sea, what a great vacation. Got a chance to see dolphins and whales - amazing!
Met captain, he looks very impressive.

Third day:
Went to a pool and played golf. Captain invited me to dinner at his table. Very attractive and a true gentleman. I am touched.

Fourth day:
Went to a casino. Won $80. Captain has invited me to a fancy dinner in his cabin. With champagne and all else
Asked me to spend a night in his cabin. I declined, said that I am loyal to my husband.

Fifth day:
Went back to the pool and got a bit sunburned. Decided to spend some time in a bar. Captain bought me a drink. He is such a gentleman.
Invited me to his cabin yet once again, said if I don't that he'll sink the ship. I got worried.

Sixth day:
Saved 3000 people.
Twice.






Question:

What bitch that refused to **** the captain of Costa Concordia?

[Benni]

Ooooohh!! Good one!!

[Benni]

Hot Doggie Style

[Benni]

This cracks me up.....

[asdfg789]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[Benni]

Hahahahaha! Love all of them!