Trying To Figure Out a Woman Who is Vexing Me

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Doesn't look like you intend to follow it to the letter. From what you said, you're going to deal with it for a few more months.

[ChristianonLI]

Well I'm going to not talk to her. At least not be the one to initiate contact. I kept my distance until she started reintroducing herself into my life. As for hanging on privately? Yea of course I will. But by all outward appearances I need to give the impression of exactly what you said.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't respond to her contact either, that's the key. If you respond, then she doesn't think she's lost you. Next time she contacts you, just say, "You know how I feel, call me when you're ready to date." Do not respond to anything else.

[ChristianonLI]

It's really the only way. You are absolutely right. Thank you again.

[Mathias]

Now you're making the assumption that he gives a shit whether or not you like his posts, and then you're trying to hurt his feelings. Your second sentence is quite passive-aggressive.

It's interesting how the training I've had has enabled me to see what people really mean.

Your advice was awesome until you made it about you.

[HeartIsAching]

Your advice was awesome until you made it about you.

It wasn't about me at all. It was simply an observation that it was interesting being able to see what people are really doing.

[Mathias]

It wasn't about me at all. It was simply an observation that it was interesting being able to see what people are really doing.

When you use the words "me" or "my" or "I" in a sentence, rethink whether it's necessary.

I'm definitely not trying to be a dick here. You give such valuable advice, but I'm worried it's clouded by those personal statements which are off-putting.

[IndiReloaded]

just say, "You know how I feel, call me when you're ready to date." Do not respond to anything else.

Great advice. As much for helping you get your head on straight as for any potential outcome w/her.

[ChristianonLI]

Look, I take break ups hard. I'm an emotional guy. I'm like anyone else, I just want to be loved. And I was SO close to having something that could last and it's not easy to just up and move on in the blink of an eye, especially when she was so unique, fun and cool to be with that I don't think there's any other woman out there like her. I don't want to wait another six months. Not even six hours. What am I going to do until then? I have nothing else going on in my life.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I have nothing else going on in my life.

This is the problem, from which this whole situation is stemming from. You are painting this brilliant picture of her because you have nothing else to do. She was your escape. You need to find something that you like to do or want to get better at, and focus on it.

[ChristianonLI]

There's nothing, really. I consciously decided a long time ago that my focus, my reason for being, would be to find that one special woman and live happily ever after. I have been searching ever since. I believe that once I find that woman everything else in my life will fall into its proper place. Whether or not anyone agrees with that doesn't matter to me. It's as much my way of doing it as any one of you might have a different way.

I was very careful this time. I didn't just go out and find the first woman who'd give me a second glance. I went a long time single after my ex-wife because I knew I couldn't afford to make that mistake again. It would destroy me. When I found the woman who is the focus of this thread I believed I had found that one to spend my life with, finally. It may yet happen but the fact it's not happening right now means to me it could never happen. And that makes me very upset.

[IndiReloaded]

There's nothing, really. I consciously decided a long time ago that my focus, my reason for being, would be to find that one special woman and live happily ever after. I have been searching ever since. I believe that once I find that woman everything else in my life will fall into its proper place. Whether or not anyone agrees with that doesn't matter to me. It's as much my way of doing it as any one of you might have a different way.

So, how's it been working for you so far?

You seem set to this path so all I will add is this thought for you to consider: How much harder is it to achieve ones goals in life when you make them dependent on another person? Good luck Robert.