I messed up. Give him time or move on?

[angelsnairwaves]

A few months ago my on again, off again boyfriend and I got into a fight and he didn't talk to me for two weeks, so I decided I had had enough and was determined to move on. He started messaging me saying he wants to fight for us, wont let me go, wants to marry me and grow old with me- all the things I had been waiting to hear for so long. We started talking/ hanging out again but I let him know that I may not get back together with him, that I'm still hurt and not sure if I'm in love with him anymore, etc. Our problems had been going on for too long and I needed to see some serious changes before making any decisions.
Meanwhile, I start developing feelings for a friend. He wanted to date me but I told him I needed time- to just be single and figure out what I want. I didn't tell my friend I was talking to my ex again, and I didn't tell my ex anything about my friend.
A couple weeks ago I left my fb logged in at my ex's and he read all the messages between my friend and I. He saw how I'm developing feelings for him and made out with him. He basically says he's done with me.
After that I realized I really DO want to work things out with my ex. I cut off contact with my friend and my ex is still talking to me, still loves me, but doesn't know if he wants to be with me anymore. He understands why I did what I did and blames himself, but he's scared I'll go looking for another relationship again if he fails to make me happy.
Should I give him time? Be patient, wait it out? Or move on? I realize I should've been more honest with him and that I messed up, but I am so tired of being in limbo with him. I feel like we are right back at square one. I just want to move forward- with HIM. I want us to be committed to each other and committed to working on the problems. I kind of want to put him in a position where he's forced to make a decision.
HELP. This is on my mind 24/7.

Thanks in advance!

[searock]

Well obviously you *are* going to look for another relationship if your relationship with him fails to make you happy. He must understand that it's not up to *him* to make you happy. I hope that rationally he is aware that he has no real reason to be upset for you talking to another guy while you were NOT officially back together. Why isn't he in a position to make a decision right now? Are you still seeing each other?

[smackie9]

You two being on again off again is evidence that you two shouldn't be dating. You are addicted to the drama, the termoil and uncertainy....it's like a drug to you...to save him and win by having him love you again. It's a horrible cycle you are in, and you truly need to cut the cord with your ex. You dumped the wrong guy.

[angelsnairwaves]

I haven't had any second thoughts about discontinuing talking to my friend. I realized we weren't compatible. He is much too sensitive, insecure, and boring, to be honest.
I am not back together with my ex, but we are talking and we hang out here and there.
I am thinking of moving on all together. I am ready for something more stable and yes- less drama.

[searock]

If you want him to take a decision, just ask him to. Make sure to inform him of the fact that if he doesn't want to get back together, this time you will move on once and for all.