+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: I dont know where to go from here

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2

    I dont know where to go from here

    I married my husband in November, in Feb I found chat logs from him and a girl he works with, basically talking about how much they wanted to sleep with each other, I was heart broken, in my eyes he has been unfaithful, if you are happy in your home life you dont need to speak like that to anyone.
    I confronted him about it and at the time he was very remorseful, he knew he had done wrong and he apologised and promised to try hard to make things right.
    As of yesterday I found he was lying, he is still seeing her, doesnt think he has done anything wrong, infact our argument yesterday ended up with me being wrong, me being an awful miserable person who made him unhappy.
    He confronted me, yes I checked up on him, he has always been so secretive and time and time again, and I know I am wrong, he never talks to me, I didnt know what else to do.
    and here is the problem, do I try and save my marriage? or do I let it go?
    We have 2 children and I dont want to cause them any hurt, but I am hurting myself and he is telling me to just 'get over it' because he already has, he doesnt understand that its not just like the snap of my fingers and its forgotten, he doesnt understand that he has hurt me, he is not willing to stop seeing this girl 'on the principal of it', he wont let me control who he can or cant see (his words, fair enough I guess) but I feel sick to my stomach when he leaves every morning, is he going to work or going to see her?
    He told me he married me hoping I would change, hoping I would go back to the person he first met and was in those first few months, the honeymoon period me, life has changed, we have our children, we have responsibilities, life is hard and we are barely getting by, it has taken its toll and I am not the happy carefree person I was then.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    120
    This guy is a liar and a jerk.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1,696
    Wait a minute ... he's cheating on you emotionally (and likely sexually) and he has the ba**s to blame you for objecting to it? And now he has to keep seeing her as a matter of principal? How frickin' noble of him!

    You've done NOTHING wrong, don't let him tell you otherwise.

    Tell him how close he is coming to losing his children if he doesn't stop this nonsense right away. Now is not the time to blame yourself or to be sad ... now is the time for you to get pissed off!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    The marriage is a fail....a sham. He has shown you that he can be manipulative, and has taken you for granted. Not only that has no regard for family values, he doesn't care what this is doing to you or your children. Don't stay with him. Your children are better off being raised in a stable home by one parent, rather than with 2 parents who's marriage is in termoil. They know something is up and know you two are unhappy.

    And BTW he is cheating. He is having an emotional affair....so mentally he has already left your marriage.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    53
    He's the one who's messing around, not you. He's the one who wants his cake and eat it, not you.

    He is betraying you and your children.

    There is no trust so therefore there is no marriage as a good marriage is based on mutual trust and love.

    If you carry on the way things are, the children will know that there is something wrong. Better one happy parent than two unhappy ones.

    For what it's worth, I think your husband is a selfish man who will probably never stay faithful to anyone.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    Quote Originally Posted by carl1222 View Post
    Tell him how close he is coming to losing his children if he doesn't stop this nonsense right away. Now is not the time to blame yourself or to be sad ... now is the time for you to get pissed off!

    Oh that's right use the children as leverage...lets use manipulation.....sorry but you can't deny a father's right to see his children, not even under these circumstances. She shouldn't lower her standards and use threats like that or she's no better than him.

    No she should handle this in a mature manner....call a divorce lawyer.

  7. #7
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    15,081
    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Oh that's right use the children as leverage...lets use manipulation.....sorry but you can't deny a father's right to see his children, not even under these circumstances.
    This. Take the high road, and yes hes a cheating jerk. Ditch him asap.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    994
    People that get married, hoping it will fix things, usually end up in a worse situation. It's up to you if you want to tolerate it for the children. Some people do, but those usually end up being A&E or LMN specials.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2

    thanks

    noone has said anything that hasnt already gone through my head
    and now I know Im not being unreasonable
    thankws for listening and giving me the kick in the butt I needed

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    120
    then good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Similar Threads

  1. do i or dont i ????
    By kimberly1961 in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-02-11, 07:47 AM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-02-11, 02:41 PM
  3. I dont drink, so i dont know. I need YOUR opinions
    By worthles in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 24-06-10, 12:36 AM
  4. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 22-06-10, 09:36 PM
  5. I dont know what can i do....
    By Chris_Marg in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 16-12-07, 05:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •