I should be excited for him but?

[Jjo]

My boyfriend is 18 and is graduating high school this year. I'm 19.
As a graduation present he may go to Italy for a week or so with his grandparents.

Which I should be so excited for him but oddly I am not. It has to do with the fact that I've stupidly given up so many opportunities and trips and sacrificed those times to spend time with him instead.

So to hear that he'd go any place in a heartbeat because "you only live once" as he puts it, which is true though, it kinda bummed me out cause I thought of all the times I turned going places down to be with him instead. Now I feel like all the times I have turned down going on trips was a bad idea and not worth it or fair. I can't expect him to turn down going places, cause that's unrealistic and selfish, but I feel stupid for doing that now though when it comes to being with him. I could have done so much but held myself back, and for what? I want to be happy for him, but I don't know what to do or how to not feel jealous I suppose.

[Evo1114]

Meh. You shouldn't have turned down your own opportunities. If he forced you not to go by laying a guilt trip on you, then obviously he is selfish and probably doesn't care all that much for you..and yeah, that is definitely not fair. If you decided yourself not to pursue those opportunities by your own free will, then you just have to accept that those were your choices you made, and you have to live with that.

[searock]

You are right, it *was* wrong to turn down opportunities just to be with him, if you felt it as a "sacrifice" at the time. Just see it as a lesson learned for the future, you have no reason to be angry at him since he is just doing what you should have done as well.

If, on the other hand, you actually preferred to stay with him because you just weren't interested in the other activities, then you should try to understand that not all people are the same as you. At such a young age and with no obligations to each other (you aren't married nor have kids), it is just normal to want to experience as much life as possible. If it's not the case for you, it doesn't mean it isn't for him either.

[bulrush]

Which I should be so excited for him but oddly I am not. It has to do with the fact that I've stupidly given up so many opportunities and trips and sacrificed those times to spend time with him instead.

It was your choice to make those sacrifices. It was nice at first, but now you feel cheated. Was it worth it? Maybe since you are young, you should take a couple trips, live a little. You can always grow up later.