thoughts about premarital cohabitation...

[gabby270]

I'm conflicted between moving in with my long-time boyfriend, though we are not yet engaged, or whether to follow the traditional values of my family and choose to wait until marriage to live together.

Any thoughts, advice, or stories would help tremendously!

[thiudiskr]

Traditions are not always pointless. When you live with someone, you see a completely different side of them. They tell you not to room with your friends when you go to college for a reason. If you're not deeply committed (married), it just isn't a good idea because it could tear your relationship apart before you get accustomed to the mundane parts of cohabitation.

[vashti]

I don't think it's for everyone. Generally speaking, once you live together, the female is expected to take on the traditional roles of a female (cooking, cleaning, etc) which takes the sparkle off the relationship.

Also, women tend to see it as a step towards getting married, whereas men tend to think of it as a way to delay getting married.

I think it is possible to get a pretty good idea of personality characteristics without living together. For example, you should be able to tell if your partner is tidy, responsible with money, a good lover, etc. with regular sleep-overs, and without becoming his pseudo-mother/wife.