My name is Jason and I am deaf. My fiancee broke up with me in three week ago because of my anger issues and she felt that she and her daughter is not safe around me due to my anger issues. I did not follow my promise to her believe that i will change myself by becoming a better guy. I really do love her and miss her but i do not understand why do i have feeling about her because I received a true love with her in my life for first time. I only had lustful experience in my past marriage and relationship, no true love.

I understood that she never had boyfriends who had anger issues or being mean front of her in her life before.

i have been acting crazy for 10 days after Feb 24, 2012.. I have been kept texting her a lot for begging her to give me second chance but i refused to respect her wishes for giving her space

On March 2, 2012, I decided I went to Kay's jewelry store thats where she work for her second job. I gave her a first letter with full expression included love and feeling and 12 dozen of roses and just left the store but i did not say anything. I said have a good evening.

I just had negative thoughts about something wrong then i went to her house and saw there is a car on her driveway and decided to looked at the window. I was like Oh i know him and it is Erik..then i go back around her house and knocked the door and asked her why Erik is there?

She said I just need a friend. (I do not know what it mean?)

I said ok and do not anything stupid with him. she said I am not and come on Jason.. He is 22 year old baby and I am 28 year old.

I know it sound stalking a bit.. not a lot because it was my first time

anyway, i left there to home but i decided to stay at the mall for an hour then come back to her house and I just looked at the window again then knocked the door? What are you two doing? She said JASON, we are just talking

I am not sure what it means "She said I need a friend" because it was midnight

Erin is my first soul mate and first lover in my life because i never had girlfriends through public school only i had 4 woman (ex wife and three girlfriends) after high school

i do not have any experience in relationship cause i had short term relationship with my ex-girlfriends before.

I have been acting crazy for 10 days over her.. Kept texting her, went to her house twice, and i was such as idiot that i almost black mailing her for no reason.. do not have any proof or evidence for blackmaliling because i used "lie story"

it was stupid thing to do in my life for first time

She said I am finished with you because she just blocked me on her facebook and text number recently cause i just kept texting her for few days.. She said you did not respect my wishes for giving me space and keep texting me. She said i want you to work on yourself first.

Now, I am still loving her all the time in my life and every day

I cannot fix everything right now.. I just created damage situation with her for 10 days..


ANY SUGGESTION????

I want to win her back one day. I have been enrolled in anger management and counseling since she blocked me... I am doing that for myself by becoming better guy.