Im not feeling all that proud of myself right now. It's a little bit complicated so I will try to make this as simple as possible. The issue doesnt lie with my ex who kidnapped my son and took him overseas. I have sorted through that but obviously it is something that will have a life long effect on me. My current girlfriend knew all my history before we started living together, incidently she is pregnant now. I had a very hard time though for 18 months when my ex first disappeared with my son. I still love my son (not my ex) and it would be more than remiss of me to forget him. My ex occasionally connects with me over the net to video chat with him but he is only 3 so its nearly impossible. I always miss him; my current girlfriend knew of him before she committed hersef to having a child with me. On more than one occasion during heated issues she has mentioned my sons name with absolute contempt even saying she hates him just to hurt me, but tonight I had enough and warned her to back down because it was'nt really appropriate given that I am about to miss another of his birthdays ( I lied he is 3 in 2 weeks ). She got upset and argued with me because I have a few of his things still and she voiced her opinion most agressively that she thought his things were garbage and we wouldnt use them for our child. Thats when she started talking about my son offensively, but I was also trying to calm her down not understanding her irrationality. I have told her that I will love all my children the same, that I would have no favourites. I have also told her that I really don't love my ex, in fact I detest her for taking my son. I have done nothing but reassure her but it seems she just thinks something then wholeheartedly believes it and then hates me because of something she has just imagined. She had a difficult marriage which ended in divource because he cheated. Well right now she is in the room crying and told me not to touch her, but heres why. In her aggressive state about 2 hours ago she hit me 3 times quite hard and even drew blood in a couple of places, now given she had just suddenly started getting quite annoyed with me for nearly an hour and abusing my son (revving me up beyond belief too, they always know the things to say to hurt you the most and its obviously intentional), having hit me 3 times I retaliated. My ex and I argued but we were never violent and I have never been violent with any other woman. I feel like an absolute heel, and someone is going to say so I should, well its moot I do and you cant even begin to imagine to .0001 of a degree how much. But the truth of the matter is she is so damn opinionated about stupid things like "oh another coffee?" to which I reply " well maybe I should have another woman instead, just like your ex" but she will put me down about anything ( the way she says it is derogitory ). I do love her but my ex had that baby depression thing and I can see a pattern. Yeah I know counselling etc, but if someone doesnt believe they have an issue and wont go even to save what we could have if we can build up trust again ( yeah its trust remember she struck first and right now it wouldnt put it past her to put a knife through my throat while I sleep, if you say I deserve it then I'm not listening ). I was wrong and so was she equally, given that she revved me up though and hit first perhaps she needs to take a little more responsibilty. But it annoys me too that she will waste my time all day by arguing, its not progressive and its nearly every day. Its the first time this has happened though ( the violence ) and its a real turning point. Sorry to take so much of your time, but thanks if you got this far.