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Thread: Advise me please

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Augusta, GA
    Posts
    3

    Advise me please

    So, it all started about 3 weeks ago, today is march 18, 2012. Everything was going fine, but then one day on the phone i heard the sadness in her heart. I asked her what was wrong. and she told me she didn't know. She said that she felt like we were getting too serious and she wasn't ready for that. She said that she felt like she met me too soon. Like I am just perfect for her in every way, but that I'm supposed to be her future, not now. *let me make a note and explain that she is a senior in high school, trying to find out how to get in college, has family issues, little friends, and a lot of school work* She then says that she loves me more than anything, but she just doesn't know what to do. She knows that she loves me more than anything, and I love her also, but she just felt like things have changed since we first met, and they have, but for the better. So, anyway, after a long night of tears and chatting, I eventually brought up the idea because I felt it was what she needed, I asked if she wanted to take a break. She at first wanted to say no, but then she realized that maybe this was best for now. However, we have set down a lot of rules for our break: such as no physical contacts with any people we date, we will skype every night *this rule hasn't been going so well*, we won't tell each other about our dates until after we have dated, no kissing *Physical contact rule, but there is a 1-2 time exception only*, no dating exs, no dating immature people, and she still wants to date me. It is almost like she wants to have a friends with benefits thing with me. She loves having sex with me, but whenever I talk about us* she gets all depressed and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Whenever I txt her alot and she doesn't reply, or replys with a one word txt, she gets sad. But whenever I don't txt her or talk to her for a long time, when I do talk to her, she is all happy and fun to talk to. She tells me she wants to hang with me and she doesn't want to loose me, but at the same time she doesn't want to get too close. I understand that she is not ready for me yet, but If i did it her way, I might be waiting 4 years for her to get out of college before we could be together. I love her very much, and I just want to find out what is best for out. I have heard rumors that I should break with her because it will make her want to take me back, however, we have said before that if we break up, that is it. It is final, no more go-backs. So, I don't want to break with her, I find it hard being able to find things to do and spend time with her. I hang out with her more now than we did when we were together. I used to hang out with her like 1 or 2 times a week, now i hang out with her 2-3 times a week. I just need some advice on what I should do, she doesn't know what she wants obvioulsy, she knows she wants me, but she isn't ready for me yet. I don't want to loose her, but at the same time. I just don't know. She also said that she needed to make sure I was the one for her by dating other people. She has only had 4 previous boyfriends, and out of the 4 only 2 were serious. 1 more-so than the other. I have been dating her for almost 6 months now and we are having this problem. I am a very serious guy, and I know i can make things a lot more serious than she may want, but right now, I just need to know if her plans are leaving me or not. and if not, what can i do to make our relationship better? Give her more space? but if i do that how do i continue to date her and talk to her? She says she feels sad whenever I don't txt her. Do I date other people? and if so, how, i will never feel about another person as I feel about her. please help me. all advice is needed. If anyone would help me that would be great. Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    Sorry but you both will not admit that this relationship IS actually over. These "rules" are ridiculous and will not work. You two are at different places in your lives. She is becoming an adult, going off to college being on her own, new freedoms, and ready to explore different experiences...there is no place for a serious relationship. It's a no brainer. She can't give you what you want and she knows this....she just doesn't know how to handle this situation. I have a feeling someone spelled it out to her and that she has no choice but to let go.

    And yes you can meet someone else that will make you feel the way she does. You can't see that right now because you are still in love, but that can and will go away in time. Sorry but I do not have anything positive about your situation. I know, even if you two try the "rules" it will fall apart anyways and it will be very painful to go through. You may just as well get it over with and end it.

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