advice

[roughcowboy25]

My fiancée broke up with me recently because of my anger issues and she felt that she and her daughter are not safe around me due to my anger issues. Due to some reason, I did not follow my promise to her believe that I will change myself by becoming a better guy. She does not believe there is anything or better thing would be improved in our relationship until she finally decided to break up with me because of my anger issues and actions. I really do love her and miss her but I do not understand why I have feeling about her because I received a true love with her in my life for first time. I only had lustful experience in my past marriage and relationship, no true love.

I understood that she never had boyfriends who had anger issues or being mean front of her in her life before.

I have been acting crazy for 10 days after Feb 24, 2012... I have been kept texting her a lot for begging her to give me second chance but I refused to respect her wishes by giving her space.

On March 2, 2012, I decided I went to Kay's jewelry store that’s where she work for her second job when I gave her a first letter with full expression included love and feeling and 12 dozen of roses and I just left the store but I did not say anything except I said have a good evening to her.

I hate to say that I just had negative thoughts about something wrong then I went to her house and saw there is a car on her driveway and decided to look at the window because it was midnight. I was like oh I know him and it was Erik in her house. Then I go back around her house and knocked the door and asked her why Erik is there? She said I just need a friend. (I do not know what it means?)

I said ok and do not anything stupid with him. She said I am not and come on Jason... he is 22 year old baby and I am 28 year old... I said ok? I just left there by going to home but I decided to stay at the mall for an hour then come back to her house and I just looked at the window again then knocked the door. What are you two doing? She said JASON, we are just talking and we did not do anything.

Erin is my first soul mate and first lover in my life because I never had girlfriends through public school only I had 4 women (ex-wife and three girlfriends) after high school because it was hardest thing to date someone in high school because I am deaf. I do not have any experience in relationship because I had short term relationship with my ex-girlfriends when I went to college in past.

I have been acting crazy for 10 days over her... Kept texting her, went to her house twice, and I was such as idiot that I almost black mailing her for no reason... I do not have any proof or evidence for blackmailing because I used "lie story.” It was stupid thing to do in my life for first time.

On March 10, 2012, she just blocked me on her Facebook and text number recently because I kept texting her when she said I am finished with you.

Now, I still love her all the time in my life and every day. I cannot fix everything right now... I just created damage situation with her for 10 days... I think I lost her completely because of my action.

I want to win her back one day. I have been enrolled in anger management and counseling this time... I am doing that for myself by becoming better guy. Honestly, I did not realize that I still have anger issues when my daddy was giving me hard time when i was deaf kid and hard headed.

[gardenofjade]

Just give her some space or it sounds like she will take out a restraining order. Meanwhile, work on you and your feelings. Seek a counselor or support group, the deaf thing should be readily available.
Your dad sounds like a dick. He was probably trying to toughen you up when you needed love instead. Yeah, that happens.

Make a list of the things you love about her. There are plenty of other women who have the same qualities.

[roughcowboy25]

Gardenofjade, Do you think I will win her back one day?

[Nikki93]

I agree with the first one.
You need to give her space and after a while of being in anger management and counseling maybe she will see that u are trying

[roughcowboy25]

updates:

she said No. You have bothered me to the point that I don't want to be with you. You ignore me when I say stop texting and you drive me friends crazy with messages. That is very inappropriate!

when i asked her is there anything to earn second chance with you one day?

what it means????