How do I get him to like me?

**Pagey** · 19-03-12, 11:16 PM

Hi!
Now I know that seems like a pretty stupid question, but there are things that make me believe maybe it wouldn't be too hard:
so I have a pretty big crush on this guy in my class, who I'm also good friends with but I don't really hang out with him outside of school, except at parties sometimes - we sit together at school a lot though. Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to see him a lot because he has an incredible amount of friends (almost all female for some reason).
Now I know he likes me - as a friend, that is. That part isn't too hard to figure out.
About a week ago a friend of mine talked to him, and he told her he found me beautiful. So I was pretty confident.
Then, he asked me to go to my school's prom as his date on saturday evening - I was sure he liked me. We ended up meeting up with a few other people as well, but when he arrived he told me I looked gorgeous (he didn't say this to any of the other girls). However, on the way to prom he didn't really talk to me at all, and mostly hung out with other people. When we got there, I was sort of hitting on him, as in trying to dance with him a lot and flirt etc. I should also probably mention that both of us were pretty drunk by this time. In the end, surely because of the alcohol I got sick of just waiting for him to make a move so I took him apart and asked if he'd noticed I was hitting on him (yes, I was very not subtle). And then...well he said he had noticed but just wasn't interested in me that way. He said he adored me, but only as a friend, and that he was aware maybe he had been sending mixed signals but the only reason he'd told me I was beautiful was because 'you're objectively beautiful, but I don't have feelings for you'. So that was disappointment number one. And then, I asked him if he'd even be opposed to a one time thing with me...yes, I did. As I said, I was very drunk. And very attracted to him. And recovering from being dumped from a 2 year relationship and therefore in need of male attention. Thank goodness he didn't make a big deal out of it, he just said he was a virgin and therefore wanted his first time to be with someone special, which is a perfectly normal reason I think. Anyway the next day I texted him apologizing for my behavior and he said it was fine and there wouldn't be any awkwardness between us or anything, we could just be friends like before. So my point is: I really would like to be more than friends with him! Considering he likes me a lot and finds me physically attractive, I feel like there could be a chance of something more happening. Guys, in your experience what has made you fall for a girl? How can I try to make him like me?
(oh and I'm 200% sure he's single)

**ayema** · 19-03-12, 11:55 PM

are u sure its a guy u r talking about...

i dont know the guy.. but he might just be a little shy..

**Pagey** · 19-03-12, 11:57 PM

Well he did clearly tell me that he wasn't interested though :/

**bulrush** · 20-03-12, 01:07 AM

First, I'm glad you were more direct. You have to be very direct with guys or you will get nowhere.

Next, try to spend a little time with him each day, like 30 minutes or an hour. Get to now him. Let him get to know you. Share things about yourself with him. And just see how things go. You can't force him to like you.

**Pagey** · 20-03-12, 02:30 AM

Okay, well that makes sense - thanks

We're both 17, if that's of any help.

**smackie9** · 20-03-12, 04:51 AM

You can't force someone to want you. That is something that happens naturally and very randomly. He has a lot of girls that are friends because they are friend zoned too, but like you they are trying to get him to want them. That's why they are hanging around him....they are a bunch of hopefuls. He is a charmer, and doesn't mind female attention, just for the attention. If he wasn't waiting for someone special, he would have nailed all those girls by now and probably nailed you on prom night. There is no winning over this dude. You better just drop it and find someone else.

**searock** · 20-03-12, 05:12 AM

He said that you are beautiful. Not that he is attracted to you. If he were, since your friendship is so strong and he "adores" you (and he's single), I'm pretty sure he wouldn't object to at least give it a try. But he does, because he isn't attracted to you.

**aadharshd** · 20-03-12, 02:39 PM

Well the guy could just be shy or not too interested about dating. But it is a good thing you were direct because guys appreciate that. I am the type of guy who isnt very interested in dating or girls but eventually I fell for my best friend because she had everything I would want for a girl. Basically get to know him and find out what he looks for in a girl. And guys would appreciate if you were trying really hard and doing a lot for them to get their attention. He sounds like a nice guy and I guess he could give it a try. Although I do have to warn you to not go too far with this because there is no going back and once the damage is done, there is no going back to the way things were before or just being friends again. I am not discouraging you but just cautioning you. Whatever you do, dont be pushy.

**smackie9** · 20-03-12, 09:35 PM

You kinda blew it because you offered up a on night stand and that's not something you say to a guy you want to date, no matter if you were drunk or not....it's already out there you were willing. He has pretty high standards (waiting for the right one).and with a guy like him, most likely has an issue with behavior like that. Don't play hard to get or try be the girl of his dreams game, the seed is already planted, he knows you well and will see what you are trying to do....that is just silly business. You are best to relax, date casually and be single for awhile.....find other things to do with yourself instead of hunting for a BF.

**Pagey** · 21-03-12, 12:27 AM

Okay well thanks - I do know I really shouldn't have asked for a one night stand, obviously had I not been very drunk I never would have. I guess I'll just act natural and try to get us to know each other better and see how it goes.
smackie9: I really don't think all of his girl friends are trying to go out with him, I've talked to plenty of them and they just think of him as a friend. Also although he and I are friends, I don't think he actually knows me well enough to read me that well, but I will be careful not too be too obvious or pushy if I do attempt anything in any case. And I know you can't force someone to want you or anything, but people's feelings do evolve...my ex, whom I was with for 2 years rejected me at first but came back a couple months later and hey, it worked out for a really long time.
Also, I saw him for the first time since the 'incident' today and nothing had changed, I mean he acted perfectly normally around me and stuff, but then again I suppose that doesn't really show anything, it's probably a normal reaction (trying to act as though it didn't happen).

**smackie9** · 21-03-12, 02:27 AM

I know what he is looking for...instant attraction, love at first sight, that's why he is still a virgin.

**Pagey** · 21-03-12, 02:40 AM

Ah, okay well unfortunately that does make sense...

**smackie9** · 21-03-12, 04:55 AM

Trust me on this one tho, he will come to regret it when he hits his twentiees and still hasn't lost his virginity.

**Pagey** · 21-03-12, 05:10 AM

Well hopefully he'll have changed his mind about me before then! Haha
(or his feelings rather)

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