This guy I work with..

[Athelflai]

Hey guys,

So I'm new to this forum, but it's kinda exactly what I'm looking for. I've just gotta get this off my chest, you don't have to reply, but any responses would be helpful. (: Thanks.

I'm 18 and live in Australia. I'm studying part time and work at McDonalds. I've been working there since September last year and from about the second week I started there, I started falling for one of my managers. I barely knew him at the time and refused to admit it to myself or to anyone else that I did have feeling for him. We had a work function at the start of this year and after that we really started talking. It came up about how I like him and how he'd known for quite a few months now O.o . And things have kinda just gone from there. (We are in NO way involved with each other.) Up until Valentine's Day, I just kept assuming that he didn't return the feeling I had for him and I kept convincing myself of that. Then Valentine's Day comes around and he tells me he does in fact have feeling for me. We've always mucked around at work, just silly little flirty things, but these things seem to have intensified after finding out that his feeling for me were mutual. Just recently it's gotten to the point where we'll be talking and I'll just innocently do or say something and he'll tell me not to do/say it because he's trying to "fight his feelings" for me, but even then that lasts only 5 mins. Everytime we're near each other he seems to have to constantly be touching me - I actually like it and find it nice.

It all seems sort of self explanatory and everything, but there is a problem. He has a girlfriend.. Seems pretty hard to believe after all that right? We talk about them as a couple often. He's not happy with her sometimes but they've been together for a while now and he wants to do the right thing by her and hope that she does the same. A whole bunch of rumors have also started up at work about 'us' so I decided to stop talking to him and to avoid him in general. And it was working right up until a few days ago. I hadn't talked to him for over a week. Then he comes up to me and confronts me about purposely avoiding him, and how I haven't been talking to him, and how I shouldn't have done it and to not do it again. THIS is what sends my mind wurring in spirals. I'm really not sure what to do, I've tried to do the right thing for everyone, but then I get told not to do it. And I hate that having him tell me not to do it, makes my feelings for him intensify. I know that there is nothing going on between us and that there wont be as long as he's with his girlfriend.

[haxan]

I'm really not sure what to do, I've tried to do the right thing for everyone, but then I get told not to do it. And I hate that having him tell me not to do it, makes my feelings for him intensify. I know that there is nothing going on between us and that there wont be as long as he's with his girlfriend.

Well, it's easy to see that you're submissive by nature. Do you have any friends that you go out with on occasion? 18 is a pretty good age for a single girl to have lots of guys wanting to keep her busy, and not worried so much about her manager at McDonalds (with the girlfriend).

[AnnonymousMan]

Don't be contribute towards his cheating. If he really wants you, then he would break up with her and go out with you. All you are is his security net right now. Talk with him about it and get a yes/no out of him. If it is no then DROP the flirting.

[miffy]

No to workplace relations.
No to helping him cheat.
No to being a fling etc..

You're doing the right thing by not engaging and avoiding him. He's cheating on his GF emotionally already, and too much of a coward/kid to admit it and work things out with her/end it. Is that really the kind of guy you want? Doesn't bode well for the future in any case. If you don't work together anymore, and he left his GF, and you still have feelings for him, hey then give it a try. Just tell him clearly you don't want any close contact with him now, and his flirting or body contact makes you uncomfortable if he's in a relationship. If he keeps doing it, he is in fact sexually harassing you, even if you're not aware of it because you have a crush. Just be aware of the situation. Don't be the submissive and disposable girl at work. Get a backbone.

[oli3tale]

[url=http://wwww.robertgershon.com]Arrested for DWI Kings County[/url]

[haxan]

I hope the OP didn't drown her sorrow in Big Macs

[oneandonly]

I hope the OP didn't drown her sorrow in Big Macs

LOL! That's not too sinful. It's quite nice every now and then although it's been ages since I had one, perhaps 1.5 years ago..... hmmm.. I want one now!

[haxan]

LOL! That's not too sinful. It's quite nice every now and then although it's been ages since I had one, perhaps 1.5 years ago..... hmmm.. I want one now!

Even though my stomach doesn't thank me, I always give in to a Big Mac attack every now and then !

[Athelflai]

For a bunch of guys who are trying to give advice, you're quite rude and immature. Just so you know, I'm a vegan. And that comment about drowning sorrows in Big Macs was uncalled for.

Thank you to the people who gave proper replies. The situation is sorted.

[haxan]

Settle down Athelflai, it was just a rhetorical comment thrown out there, since you hadn't provided an update on you situation. Glad you got everything sorted out under the golden arches.

[IndiReloaded]

Just so you know, I'm a vegan.

How do you reconcile being vegan and working at Maccas. Isn't that like working for the devil?

[nerdy_guy]

How do you reconcile being vegan and working at Maccas. Isn't that like working for the devil?

She probably closes her eyes and just works on the veggies.

[oneandonly]

For a bunch of guys who are trying to give advice, you're quite rude and immature. Just so you know, I'm a vegan. And that comment about drowning sorrows in Big Macs was uncalled for.

wow, no need to be so sensitive and serious about random posts on the internet forum! Could you not sense the harmless humour there? Chillax...

Even though my stomach doesn't thank me, I always give in to a Big Mac attack every now and then !

I don't know where anyone else lives but here in the UK, the recent McDonald ads is awfully convincing! Gotta have one soon!

[AJSerenity]

Hey Athelflai I certainly wish you well in sorting this whole situation out with your McD mgr. Whenever a guy has a girlfriend yet flirts with other girls, that's usually a sign that he's not fully satisfied with his gf. If he's not getting his "needs" met (whether it's for attention, affection, etc) then there's that tendency to seek it out elsewhere. I definitely encourage you to continue to have your boundaries in place with him. I also agree that a lot of the immature replies on this thread are total crap. Take care